Tag Archives: #Empowerment for Teens

A Lesson Of Life for each of us

“That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.”   ― Aldous Huxley, Collected Essays.  

Lesson of Life

Massive Bulldozer lifting power. Image from hulcher.com

Or: The Lesson of Life I learned from a bulldozer and a bucket of oil!

Think back to 1984, if you can.

This was the time of the war over the Falklands Islands, between England and Argentina. It was the year Indira Ghandi was assassinated. Reagan made his famous joke: “My fellow Americans, I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.” He supposedly didn’t know the microphone was on. It was the year of the summer Olympics in Los Angeles, and the Soviet Union boycotted it. Wonder why. 1984 is the name of George Orwell’s famous novel, although he wrote it in 1949. It was the year the first “megabit” chip was ever made in Bells Laboratories – the event that heralded and made possible the super computers. 1984 was the year the “Bill Cosby Show” had its first TV premiere.

1984 was the year my old bulldozer gave me the most amazing lesson of life.

In that former life, I had a farm and an earth moving business, doing land clearing, soil and water conservation dams and channels, noxious weed management, tree removal and levelling building blocks, regular bulldozer type work.

I need to give you some idea of the scale of the machinery used, to put this into perspective.

Lesson of Life

Ironbark Tree – image from nationalregisterofbigtrees.com.au

Imagine a tree, 100 feet tall, around 30 metres. That’s half as long again as a cricket pitch. This tree is an ironbark tree, half a metre through at the trunk. It has branches and leaves on top, roots around 2 metres deep in the earth, and with a big clump of soil around them. It had to be moved. My bulldozer was actually a track loader with a clam bucket on the front (similar to the photo above), useful for picking up objects in the big jaws. The tree was gently pushed over and laid on the ground, roots and all. My bulldozer came alongside, clamped the jaws over the trunk of the tree, picked it up and carried it across the field to a large log pile, lifted it 15 feet (4 metres) into the air and laid it on top of the pile, for pole harvesting later. That was easy. And it shows the power of the hydraulic system of this particular bulldozer.

Earth moving equipment needs to be maintained for it to work properly, and there are many moving parts, using lots of oil.

Onto the lesson of life. We, my assistant David and I, were doing a regular oil change. The hydraulic oil was very special – read ‘expensive’. In 1984 dollars, when a 5 gallon can of regular oil was $20, this was $200! Every drop precious. We drained the old oil, and replaced the filters and the oil plug. Because the machine was so big, we were working on opposite sides of it. David was 18 years old and as fit, flexible and athletic as any farm kid in those days. I called out to him:

“David, I’ve replaced the plug and tightened it. I’m ready to put the new oil in. Have you tightened the filters?”

“Yep. They are tight.”

In went the new oil, glistening gold as it poured down the funnel. I wiped my hands on an oil rag, then climbed up to start the engine. As it started, a spray mist of fine gold particles created a perfect rainbow arc beside me. The precious oil was gone in seconds. David hadn’t tightened the filters enough after all! The incredibly powerful hydraulic pump that could lift a 100 foot tall iron bark tree up in the air, roots and all, pumped all that expensive oil out into a magical golden rainbow.

I shut the engine down and sat for a few seconds in silence. David stood there, out of range, but prepared to sprint for the cover of the bushes behind him. Much went through my mind. First was the thought of the cost. Then there was the thought of how much spare oil we had, because the job had to go on. Then there was David, almost rooted to the spot in fear, very apprehensive about what I might do. He looked ready to bolt into the bush and make his way home across country. A virtual whirlwind of thoughts. However, although I felt like a good butt-kicking would release some pressure from the head of steam I had developed, I didn’t feel it would achieve much else. There had to be a better way.

I looked at David, with a purposely blank expression. “I should have checked those filters, shouldn’t I?”

He just looked back in surprise – not expecting that. He was expecting spanners or other loose objects to be hurled at him I think. He mumbled something in reply but I don’t think his lips had reconnected to his thoughts at that time.

“Could you get the other drum of oil please David? I’ll clean this up and tighten the filters again.”

We put the new oil in and it tested perfectly; back to work we went.

Lesson of Life

That’s about right!           Image from bestsayingsquotes.com

What was our lesson of life?

In the years since 1984, I have found so many lessons that came from that incident. I’ll list a few:

1. Getting angry didn’t serve anyone. Dealing with the problem did.
2. Blaming didn’t serve anyone. Taking responsibility did. On that point – was David to blame? He did say he tightened the filters. But David was an 18 year old staring goggle eyed at a huge machine, the likes of which were out of his imagination before he came to work for me. He was under my instruction, and it was my responsibility to make sure he understood and did what was necessary. No, I should have checked!
3. Monitor what you delegate. That came home with a $200 price tag, in 1984 – I have since had whole weekend seminars that taught me less than those few seconds and cost more too! Powerful lesson.
4. Teaching and imparting lessons rather than blaming for mistakes gains respect and trust.

I’ll spend a moment on this point. David was only 18 and this could have sent him packing, back to a cranky father with a drinking and gambling problem. Instead, it was a turning point in his life, as I later came to find out. From that moment on, he stepped up and took responsibility for maintenance. Never again did anything go unchecked; nothing was ever allowed to leak oil, rattle, or other than behave like brand new. It became his mission, to look after my machinery and be the best operator possible. He became a zealot!

We worked together for another couple of years when the business expanded and we took delivery of a massive earth moving scraper. When the dealer left after unloading and setting it up, I threw him the keys and said “Look after this, would you?”

The look on his face was priceless. However, the pride he felt was evident and he applied himself to caring for that new machine also, as though it was his very own.

David did not need a reprimand on that pivotal day. A lesson of life comes in many forms and opportunities are often disguised as disasters. That day was perhaps my greatest lesson of life and as I reflect on it from time to time, still more comes through.

5. Nurture your people, to allow them to become what is possible. Understanding of their situation and circumstances means that sometimes, you’ll make allowances. When you do, they have the opportunity to see that you are treating them as an individual, not a number. David realised I cared how he felt, and although he expected to be given the blame, he already felt bad enough – no one needed to hammer it home any more. His growth from this incident was phenomenal, but only because he was nurtured through it.
6. Education is critical. I didn’t expect David to know everything. I worked from where he was in life and built on his knowledge from that point. When he left my employ, he could stand tall with anyone in the industry.
7. The lessons you teach are taught to others. Did David tell anyone about this incident? Yes. His younger brother was the first one who came to talk to me about it. Their relationship changed at that time, as David became his mentor, rather than his tormentor – which many older brothers are. They taught others how to deal with crises when it happened to them. And so it went, down the line. Who knows how far the benefits of that lesson of life on that day have gone.
8. If David’s lesson from the day was to react in anger, instead of how it happened, do you think that lesson would have been perpetuated? Of course. However, it broke a cycle of blame and anger that had been his family’s way for generations. One incident can change a life, depending on how you deal with it.

In the 30 years since this event, much has happened. When I sold the machinery, David went his own way and I entered the corporate world. I attended seminars and heard the greats speak of their lesson of life and the amazing incidents they recounted. However, I often wondered about how these much embroidered tales of their wisdom and mastery actually began. Did they have an oil can moment too?

With my current programs and coaching clients, I am most conscious of how important the simplest lesson of life can be. The opportunity to impart them is vital, as we never know where they will end up and who they will empower.

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” ― Tom Bodett

Life Change Coaching?

We still have a couple of coaching places available for anyone wishing to experience and benefit from our life change coaching first hand.

At your free initial session;
• We will look at what you want and gain clarity on the cause or need for your desire for coaching and change.
• We will give you an objective perspective of your situation and the opportunities, as well as the obstructions to your progress.
• Finally, we can help you establish a plan to progress your desires and goals to where you really want them to be.

If this is you, take a look at our Coaching Page, answer the simple questions at the bottom and send the answers through to us, to schedule your free session. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

PPS: If you wish to read my book “Lessons of Life”, check it out here!

Related Posts:

Help From My Friends

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” ― Helen Keller

Google Teenage Problems.

teenage problems

            Looking like the weight of the world is on her shoulders.                                                                                Image from visual photos                                                             

I AM SHOCKED!

Teenagers only have to focus on themselves – it’s not until we get older that we realize that other people exist.   Jennifer Lawrence

I was originally going to write about the most influential and positive role models of my early life, and did a little research on it. I looked for how many searches people did on the topic, and found that there were only 30 searches (globally) for that exact search and around 3,000 for that topic in general.

However, in the same search program, which brings up “related topic searches”, I also found:

Search topic                                        Exact match                     Broad match

positive role models for teens                   10                                   100
positive role models for teenagers           30                                   270
positive role models                                   720                                 18720
positive role models for girls                    70                                    630

However, the search also found:

troubled teens                                              4400                            171600
teen depression                                           9900                             386100
teen pregnancy                                            49500                          1930500
teen pregnancy help                                   590                               14750
teenage problems                                       6600                             257400
teen issues                                                   2900                             113100
teenage depression                                    8100                              307800
teen suicide                                                 18100                            705900

teenage problems

Not necessarily a good role model either! Image from belfasttimes.co

What is this saying about what is really going on with teenage problems?

There are more searches each month globally for “Teen Suicide” than there are for all the positive searches for good teen role models! There are so many more people seeking solutions to the teenage problems, than there are seeking positive ways to prevent the problems!

That lifts the scab on the huge issue of teenage problems. I confess, until I saw this, I didn’t realise the incredible depth of the teenage problems issue, even though I have written about the topic in general previously in my blog on “Empowerment for Teens”.

What is needed, obviously, are many more positive influences and role models for children and teenagers, to influence the growth and development of our youth so that these teenage problems are prevented – rather than becoming teenage problems needing treatment!

We can all play a role in this – literally! Are you a good role model for youth? Do you lead with an example that you would be happy your children could follow? Or would you be concerned if your children did as you demonstrated, but not as you said?

Children learn by example and follow the leads given by their most powerful influences in those formative years. Those potentially positive influential people are firstly, their parents, family friends and especially friends of their parents who they see regularly, and their teachers. They are also greatly influenced by what their own friends and peers do and say – mostly learning their habits – good or bad, because in the early stages of learning at least, they still don’t know the difference!

teenage problems

                                                  Peer groups – they can make or break a teenager!                                                   Image from tagesthemen24.de

How can we break this cycle of teenage problems?

Who were the most influential people in your early years? What did you learn from them? What can you still learn from them, on reflection?

Let me tell you of a few influences of my early years, to explain what I mean.

Aside from my parents’ influence, we had a family friend called Dennis. He was an amazing guy and a lot of fun to be with. He met my Dad when I was around 4 or 5 years old, when we were having some construction work done on the farm. He was a friend of the builder, and Dad and Dennis hit it off. He often came up to do a bit of spotlight shooting after this, and that was when we met his wife, Norma.

Norma was a paraplegic. She had been wheelchair bound since around age 18, when a car accident changed her life. She and Dennis were sweethearts at the time and he never left her side. They married and were fortunate to have a child. Dennis was a man’s man, worked as an electrician in the steel mills at Port Kembla, but was also a devoted husband and father, with strict personal disciplines and moral standards that he lived by. He set an example that has stayed with me for all of my life.

When Norma died, I was about 16. She and Dennis had become part of our family, even though they lived 200 miles away. It hit us hard, but Dennis was our strength through it all. He is still strong and courageous, well into his eighties now. He remarried and shared a wonderful relationship with his second wife until recently when she also passed away, again leaving him alone. I spoke to him about his loss and he was shaken, although still his wonderful, compassionate self. I thanked him for the example he had set me for my life to aim for, and he was most humble. He said it was just a day at a time and his aim was to make each day count. Dennis, you certainly did – your days and mine also. Thank you.

Teachers can have a huge influence on the enthusiasm and appetite of youth for all things exciting and perhaps forbidden. No one knew this better than the other major influence in my early years, that of John Stanley Gabb, the wool classing teacher and registrar of the Cootamundra Technical College. He was only a small man, and his uniform seemed to be a white dustcoat and shiny black shoes, over a shirt and tie. He was always well-groomed, probably around 40 years of age when we met, and I was 15.

His class was about a dozen unruly farm teenagers who were ostensibly there to learn to class wool, so they could handle the shearing season on their own farms. However, living miles from town and company meant these guys were also out for a day off the farm, to play up and create merry hell wherever they went before, during and after the class. John Gabb was equal to the task.

Big John Clark was a great example of the students. He would stand up near the front of the room, one foot on the chair seat, elbow on his knee and told jokes non-stop for as long as he was allowed, never cracking a smile, never pausing and knowing that the rest of the room was unable to draw breath for the laughter. But John Gabb was able to judge exactly when was the right time to intervene and say “OK, Guys, let’s give that a break and work on what we are supposed to be doing.” Always firm, but never authoritarian, and always respected.

Respected so much that when these boisterous teens had trouble, he was also the one they went to for advice. No, he wasn’t their agony aunt, but he was a great first step in the process, usually before the boys told their parents the problems they were having. Over the four years I knew him, these informal chats prevented probably half a dozen major episodes of teenage problems that I knew about. He also had other classes and there were a few hundred students at the college, whom I never met. However, he made it his business to know them all, and be available to them.

Twenty years later, I went back to Cootamundra to find John Gabb, and he had retired. As it happened, he retired to the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, only an hour’s drive north of where I lived. I was running my seminars at the time and made it my business to call in to his home, to thank him personally for the influence he had in my life. I did not realise during my time at college how powerful he was. It was only a decade later when I faced certain challenges that his lessons, teachings and examples were the ones I used to pull me through. As I began writing my seminars, teaching and lecturing from the stage to quite large groups of people, I realised how much of his influence was still coming through.

That’s the thing about solid foundations and good principles, they are right and correct, down through the ages. John Stanley Gabb was influencing young people still, all around Australia, through my work, twenty and thirty years later, as he sat in his lounge room up on the Sunshine Coast. When I met him again, his welcome was warm. When I told him what I was doing, and thanked him for the powerful influence he had been in my life, his eyes teared over and he thanked me for telling him.

People such as these are the ones who really make a difference. I know that I could have had serious teenage problems if not for their influence. I was as wild and strong-minded as any other teen, perhaps more than most, but I had great role models in these people, as well as the examples set by my parents. I was fortunate. It seems so many more kids are not, or there would not be so many searches for teenage problems on Google!

Again, I ask you, are you a suitable role model for your children, and those of your neighbours and friends? Or will those children be searching for “teenage problems” on Google as well?

teenage problems

       Are you a good role model for her to follow? Image From strategylab.ca

If you are happy that you are being all you can be, as a role model for today’s youth, then I congratulate you. If you feel you could do more, then may I recommend a look at Life Change 90?

You already know you CANNOT TELL children and teenagers how to act and behave. That’s just an invitation to rebel against you and everything you stand for.

Rather, demonstrate in your life what they aspire to, with the love and satisfaction they also desire, through knowing and using the tools available to them also and which you will not only learn, but develop as habits through Life Change 90. Show them what they want to see and let them know it is available to them also. Join me in Life Change 90.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.    Doug Larson

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

You have teenagers thinking they’re going to make millions as NBA stars when that’s not realistic for even 1 percent of them. Becoming a scientist or engineer is.     Dean Kamen

Related Blogs

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Success Habits

An Angel Without Wings

#Angel

A whole city of Angels!
Image from swotti.com

“If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.”
Tennessee Williams, Conversations with Tennessee Williams

An Angel Without Wings.

God is forever creating new Angels.

One day some time ago, he finished another Angel – but was having a bad day and forgot to give her wings.

“Darn it!” he thought.  “Well, I won’t put her back.  I’ll give her extra serves of love and courage, a radiant smile and she can go to earth and be an Angel down there, where she won’t need wings.”  So he put her on earth, as a baby.

Earth was a harsh environment for the Angel baby.  Life kept putting obstacles in her way, challenges to solve and the burdens of other people to weigh on her also.  There always seemed to be something else to do, someone else to heal, to care for or to help.

“My Angels have a lot of work to do,” he told Saint Peter.

But with the extra love and courage in her heart, the Little Angel’s smile shone like a beacon through all her trials and tribulations.  She became an inspiration to those around her.

God said, “I will give her more to do.”  He sent more needy people her way.

Life’s ordeals and unscrupulous people took away all she had, her health, her marriage, her money and he thought, “Surely this will try her out!”

Her courage never faltered, still her smile shone and her love inspired those who knew her.

St Peter looked down and wept at what he saw!

“God!!” he cried.  “You can’t keep this up!  She has already done more by her example than many of your other Angels and raised her children to be like herself.  Her example inspires all in the world that see her.  Please ease her burden, so that she may freely work for you!”

“Perhaps, Peter, you are right.  I will think on it.”  God was pensive.  He stroked a whiskered chin with his thumb.  “I’ll tell you what I will do, Peter.  I will give her the love of a wonderful man, surround her with true friends and shower her with peace of mind and satisfaction for what she does.

Maybe in the future her burdens will ease – but right now, My Little Angel Without Wings has much to do.”

#Angel

WWII Fuzzy Wuzzy Angel in Papua New Guinea, assisting an injured Australian soldier. Angels come disguised in so many ways!
Image from en.wikipedia.org

“For truly we are all angels temporarily hiding as humans.”
Brian L. Weiss

There are many angels without wings, just like this one.  You know who you are, Dear Angel.  You know when you are an angel to someone who needs you, someone whose challenges need some extra attention and you can give it to them, even though your own troubles and challenges almost overwhelm you.  You know so many people count on you and you just have to be there for them.  Take a bow – you are not alone!

#Angel

An Angel at work!
Image from humanrights.gov.au

But you feel alone, Dear Angel, so much of the time.  You feel like the pain you bear will overpower you.  You feel like the isolation your situation causes will bury you in loneliness.  You feel like no-one else would understand your situation, even if you knew how to explain it to them.  And yet you keep on. And you keep praying.  Because that’s what an Angel will do.

More power to you.

This world has need of an angel like you.  We need more of you, many more of you.  If I could create the “Angel without Wings Network”, you’d be in there, with all those other special angels without wings, helping each other and helping heal the world.

There is an Angel Network.  However, it doesn’t cater for angels like this one, or perhaps an #Angel like you.  You are an Angel in hiding, a secret Angel that only a few people know about and appreciate, unfortunately.

#Angel

Even Angels have bad days!
Image from fanpop.com

What I do know is that you, our Dear Angel, need help.  You need to give yourself the best possible chance of making it through this, and out to the bright spot on the other side.  And to do that, you need a loving and supportive environment around you.  You need encouragement, morning and evening, to keep going.  You need to see your achievements each evening, so you know your day has been worthwhile, valuable to someone and satisfying to you.  You need your own goals to aim for and to achieve, and you need to be taught how to rise to all the challenges that life is and will continue to throw at you.

Maybe we can help with that.  Everything you need is in a program created to empower people and Angels facing challenges, just like you may be.  The support, the positive encouragement, the education, motivation and inspiration each day, right here with you, every day.

Need a hand getting through life? CLICK HERE FOR ASSISTANCE!  Let us empower you to make it, no matter what life throws at you.  After all, an Angel without wings still should feel what it’s like to fly!

If you feel that this post has empowered an Angel, or made an Angel feel she could fly again, please share it, reblog it and pass it on to other Angels without Wings.  You know who they are.  Every angel should feel like they have another Angel to share with, and to fly to at times.  This could be your time to fly!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails, Angels!

Ray

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.”
Anonymous, Holy Bible: King James Version

Empowerment through Challenge

#challenge

A leap of faith
Image from daretoleap.co.uk

Empowerment through Challenge

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” ― Roger Crawford

There are times when the road seems too hard, the climb too steep, the challenge too great.  There are times when the most reasonable decision would be to give up, admit that the challenge was just too hard, and go home.

There are also people for whom that is not a choice.

Their choice is to press on to succeed or literally to die trying – or not trying.  Sometimes, the challenge MUST be faced, whether we like it or not.  At these times, heroism surfaces.

The unlikely heroes are those people facing chronic illnesses, chronic pain, the “invisible diseases” such as Depression, CFS and Fibromyalgia and other illnesses that at a glance, people afflicted with them show no visible symptoms.  Other people with little choice are those whose children face a challenge and as parents, they must continue.  There are people struggling on minimum wage, raising families on incomes below the poverty line, with no safety net and where failing the #challenge means starvation.

#challenge

Invisible Illness – unsung heroes
Image from noonegetsflowersforchronicpain.wordpress.com

There are movies produced about some of the heroes.  We may never know the truth of their heroism, such as in the tale of “Lorenzo’s Oil”, where a father studied his son’s disease and in the movie, found the cure for it.  There are real life parallels to this tale now, especially since genetic engineering has become an acknowledged branch of science.

There are other heroes, such as where a person has been wrongfully convicted and either they or their partner studied law in order to challenge and perhaps overturn the decision.  Heroes where the underdog came through, changed their world, and that of many others too.

#challenges

Heroes of everyday challenges
Image from themotherhood.com

On a day-to-day basis, there are many heroes facing a challenge that will never make headlines, but is just as real.  The single mother, trying to raise her children, without support, on a budget far below what is necessary, in circumstances that can at best be described as a challenge.  The small business owner facing tough competition in a changing market, struggling to survive.  A person with low self-confidence and low self esteem looking for a new job, a career, or even just a friend. The dyslexic person in the admin role, trying to write a report.  So many people face challenges that to others are no big deal, but to them, it’s their life!

There are times when a challenge has created a break through in thinking and a whole new invention, solution or branch of science has resulted.  The problem has been solved because someone either “broke through” the problem with advanced thinking and higher intelligence, or they “broke with” the thinking; they tried something totally different, lateral and creative and found a back-door solution to the problem!  Only challenge provides this opportunity and it is how humanity has advanced.

Can you break through to succeed where others have failed the challenge?

It’s possible, but that doesn’t mean you always get your old life back.  Sometimes, it’s not there to reclaim.  You may overcome the challenge but you cannot unlearn the pain you endured.  You will be a different person, even if your old life is offered to you again.  It may not feel the same, because you are now changed, evolved.  You’ll need to grow into your new life, even when you succeed and overcome the challenge!

“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.” ― Bernie S. Siegel

Where do you turn, when it is YOU facing the challenge?

The first thing to remember is that we are not alone in this.  Maybe there is no saviour nearby, but that doesn’t mean help is not available.  A quote from Einstein said “Man cannot solve the problems he created with the same level of intelligence with which he created them”.  In other words, to solve a problem, access a higher level of wisdom, and to do that we need to find or become someone with more wisdom.  Become smarter.

How can we become more intelligent when facing a challenge?

Specialised knowledge is required to solve a specific problem.  Go to the source of wisdom in that area.  Research, learn, outsmart your challenge.

Financial challenge – perhaps too much debt?

The local library has resources on debt and creditor control, but also resources on creating more income and cashflow.  Life Change 90 presented the Financial Empowerment blog recently.  It also has brilliant strategies on how you can become financially empowered by accessing higher financial wisdom and thinking.

Social challenge?

Personal development, working on your Self Confidence and Self Esteem can make a huge difference.  There are simple and easy ways to improve these critical areas of your life, when you know how.  These blogs HERE and HERE provide a pathway to tools, resources and education in those areas.

Health Challenge?

There are two parts to a health challenge:  Firstly, finding the cure and recovering from your illness, if that is possible.  Secondly, managing to live and function and have a quality of life while you face your health challenge.

#challenges

Starting over in a new life
Image from amputee.com

Facing a health challenge can be debilitating.  Whether it is pain, energy levels, tiredness, nausea, headache or more, when it is constant, it wears you down, slows thinking and numbs your feelings and emotions.  It is relentless.  The most positive person will face times of despair when it just seems too hard, too painful and just too much.  We wrote about this in the Challenges Of Chronic Illness Blog.  All the while you are feeling so miserable, you also face the medication, the hard work that you and your mind and your physical body must still do to actually look for and implement the cure and the healing process.  It’s even harder if there is no recognised cure and symptom management is your only apparent option.

What does your particular challenge have in common with all other challenges?

There are a few aspects of facing a challenge that are common to each, and therefore have a way of being handled and managed.  There are specifics which are unique to each individual challenge, and you will learn to handle these once you get the fundamentals down. Let’s look at the common aspects for strategies towards success.

Challenge Fundamentals

#challenge

We all need goals!
Image from traducirco.com

First:  Goalsetting.  It is vital to the life of every person on the planet, but handled differently when facing a severe challenge.  When life is easy, you can set huge goals and risk everything on them because you feel invincible.  But that’s not now.  Your goals need to be small, step by step goals that you might mark off in hours, or even minutes.  The increments to your milestones might be tiny, but they are there.  When you achieve them, you must celebrate like crazy!  For a person learning to walk after losing their legs in an accident, running a marathon is not the goal; just standing up is the challenge.  When you make it, celebrate!  And when you take the first step again, celebrate that too!  The marathon can come later; right now, let’s just take one more step!  Keep your goals small enough to achieve realistically, without compromising other critical areas of your life.  Celebrate each in your own way when you achieve them.

Second:  Support.  Who do you have around you?  A team is important.  Not necessarily friends because sometimes they try to not hurt your feelings, by not telling you the truth.  Someone impartial.  Maybe a coach?  Your church minister?  Someone who can be a mentor to you and honestly let you know how you are doing, by providing objectivity.

Third:  A program.  You MUST be organised.  This challenge will wear you down unless you have a plan of attack for it, and you follow that plan.  The plan needs to address your goals, and keep you up to working towards your goals every day.  It needs to empower your motivation to keep you inspired, even through tough times.  Affirmations and encouragement, inspirational education, new ways to look at obstacles, and challenges to broaden your thinking to find new solutions.  It should make you think laterally, to give you a fresh perspective.

Fourth:  Personal development and education.  To rise above your challenge, you need to be more of you than you are now.  Self education, self development, growth and evolution are required.  Your program must provide a pathway to a new level of consciousness if it is to work for you.

Fifth:  Encouragement.  A platform and a process to recognise and celebrate learnings, lessons and achievements.  When you have a win, it must be acknowledged.  Every night, you need your program to register your activities and achievements so you can chart your production and progress.

Sixth:  A Supportive Environment.  Even if you are totally alone, you need an environment around you that is positive and uplifting, conducive to success and progress, even if much of it is internal to begin with; especially to begin with – the time of most challenge!  This is when self-discipline and focus on goals is most critical, to enable you to build momentum towards your goals, to consolidate new habits where necessary, and to leave the old ones behind.  Your program must create this environment around you.

To learn about and access such a program, CLICK HERE for the framework and the features you need to build in, and the benefits it will give you.  Plug your life and your challenges into this program, to look at your world in a new light.  The light at the end of the tunnel!

If you feel better able to handle your challenges after reading this post, please reblog it and share it around.  You may be doing a friend or someone in your family the favour they have been secretly praying and crying out for!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment, to assist you with your specific challenge.

Empowered by Gratitude

Empowered by my Failures

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

#challenges

A new lease on a new life!
Image from onlytoptens.com

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Empowered by Gratitude

Gratitude?

#Gratitude

A new day, a new start
Image from aquabumps.com

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
L.M. Montgomery

Did you wake up this morning?

That’s something to have gratitude for.  Many didn’t.  What does waking up each morning mean?

When you wake up each morning, or whatever time you wake up, it means you have another chance to start life all over again.  Now I know that some people are locked into a pattern which is not easy to break free of, and I’m thinking here of people in chronic pain, people who are on minimum wage and who know that finding a better paid job won’t be easy, and so many more people who have life challenges to face.

But you woke up, didn’t you?  That’s the first step towards a new life, a life change if you wish, but regardless of how you look at it, your life starts again the moment you wake up each day and that’s something to show #gratitude for.  You got another chance to start over.

What can you do with a new day?

Perhaps you can’t change everything in your life all in the next day, this new day you have given to you.  But you can change something if you need to, want to, or HAVE to!  Start small, with the single thing that will make the most difference if you change it.  A habit?  A thought?  Something you don’t do, but perhaps should?  Something, anything, but if your life is not exactly where you want it to be right now, at this time of your life, start making changes, little ones, to gently steer your life in the direction you need it to go.  Then show some gratitude, say a little “thank you” that you can do even this much.

How do you know if the change is the right one?

In a way, it doesn’t matter.  It’s the stagnation that is the death of a life.  Sometimes, any movement is better than none, but once you make a start, get some movement, you can steer from there.  It’s very hard to steer your car when it’s parked at the kerb.  You need to be moving, any direction at all, before you can steer it.  So start moving.  And show gratitude that you can actually move a little.  A little “Thank you” for the ability to move.

#Gratitude

Image from http://innerdelight.com/thriving-in-times-of-change/

Gain some momentum.

Once you are moving, after your feet hit the floor, you started to move, you turned in the right direction, you got a little speed up.  Perhaps not much, but a little.  This is called momentum and there is power in momentum.  The weight of your movement, the mass of you moving along has a force.  Use it to shift other bigger things.  Point it towards obstacles, tack on another change or two and use your momentum to carry you through.  Old train drivers called this “getting up a head of steam” and there you go, you have momentum.  You are moving, steering, gaining power with your momentum and making more changes.  There’s something more to show #gratitude for, a little “thank you” for the momentum.

#Gratitude

A head of steam!
Image from burnham-on-sea.com

This is called changing your life, a step at a time.  It’s simple, but not always easy, and much depends on where you are starting from, whether at the top of the slope, or the bottom.

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99

Sometimes you need a hand.

Look around you.  How many people are there in your life?  How many of them do you think are feeling the same way each day, facing challenges and wondering how to make it?  There are a few, feeling just like you, and some feeling very challenged also, much more than you.  My Dad told me something that has stuck with me, when I was around 7 years of age and walking out on a frosty morning to milk the two old milking cows.  I complained about the cold frost on my boots and he said “I cried when I had no shoes, til I saw a man who had no feet!”  I didn’t realise he was quoting the old Sufi proverb but it didn’t matter.  I gladly walked down to the cow-bail, in gratitude for my boots.

There are many people who would like a hand, and many who would like to help you.  More than you realise.  Sometimes though, you need to take the first step on your own, to demonstrate to others that you are serious about the changes.

One way of making little changes that add up to a powerful momentum in a short period of time is to lock into a program that has these gentle changes built into it, and can help you decide what and when and where the most effective changes could be made.  That program also has a gratitude section in it, and without a doubt, showing gratitude for where you are already is perhaps the most powerful tool at your disposal! 

To learn more about this powerful program with the inbuilt gratitude program as well as all the other vital tools for changing your life, CLICK HERE NOW! 

You’ll be glad you did, as you watch your life change direction under your guidance, and build up a head of steam in a way that you will always want to show gratitude for!

Show some gratitude!

After all, you DID wake up this morning, didn’t you?

If you feel gratitude for the lessons I hope I have presented to your here, please reblog and share this post with your friends, family and associates.  Share your journey with them.  Everyone deserves an opportunity to look at their new day with fresh eyes and feel gratitude just for having the chance to start again, this new day.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. 
Melody Beattie

 

By the way, if you are looking for some inspiration on how to make the most of your new day, please also refer to my other posts below on Empowerment: There might be something of special interest for you here.

Empowered by my Failures

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Empowered by my Failures

#failures

Oprah Winfrey, a failure?
Image from erictippetts.com

Empowered by Failures

I have made mistakes.  I have had failures.  Lots of failures.  Sometimes, I did the same thing again and it still failed!  A bit like the guy betting on replays of the Melbourne Cup, just in case the favourite racehorse got up this time.  Let’s face it, some people take a while to “get it” and I’m probably one of those who need to do it the hard way.  But the hard way sometimes really cements the lessons of your #failures for you.

How was I empowered by my failures?

Let’s look at some of my failures.  I had a marriage breakdown.  Why?  Because I was busy being a guy, a provider and a worker, but not very good at being a communicator, husband or father.

What did I learn from my failures?

There are some things that need to be put first in life, and family is one of them.  Sure, I needed to provide for my family, but I needed to make sure their happiness was in place before I tried to buy “stuff” for them.  What they wanted was my love, my company, my attention, not my “stuff”!

Another of my failures was in not doing enough homework on some things before jumping in.  I was impulsive and would make decisions on the spot, because I thought that fast decision-making and “being decisive” was the way to be.  It is, but only if you know what you are talking about and making decisions on.  For everything else, do the homework!

What did I learn from my failures?

Take time.  Just like sand takes time to filter through an hourglass, so does information take time to filter through my mind.  Give it the time it needs to process the information and the homework on the question at hand, and only then, make the decision.

Many people look to successful people for how to become successful.  The wise people also look at what the #failures have to teach us.  The light bulb wasn’t invented at the first experiment.  Every failure was documented and used as a stepping stone til finally, success came, after all those failures, those learning experiences.

#failures

Thomas Edison – a prolific failure!
Image from madeinindia.net.au

There is so much that I have learnt from failures over the years.  What I learnt when sitting back, many years later, was that I had developed a process that while ever I used it, worked for me, and made life good.  When I applied my life to a certain set of principles, took notice of what my intuition was telling me and acted from my heart with integrity, life was good.

I distilled this process over time, before I began to teach it.  The first programs went to corporations and they paid huge sums of money for it.  As I taught it, I also learnt more about it and when it evolved into my first public program, “The Executive Mastermind Program”, it was an amazing program.  I delivered it in four weekend workshops over a year, with huge amounts of support in between the workshops.  That was because for information to be retained, the mind and body need to continually integrate it and that was how we did it.  Accelerated Learning was the technique, the strategy that became famous for teaching people a new language in a few days…  I harnessed Accelerated Learning and used some NLP strategies and techniques to anchor it, and the lives of many people changed.

It was limited though and I over stretched myself, trying to do too much for too many.  Another of my failures.  I pulled back and went a little off course, veering off into financial planning for a time but that was also a mistake.

What did I learn from my failures?

Stay true.  Listen to my heart and stay in integrity.  Hmmm.  Sounds familiar.  So I’m back on track now, writing and teaching, and working with my program.  It works every time.

You can have it too.  It’s a program that has a number of amazing features.  When you look at these features, you can see why it would keep me, or you, on track:

  • A daily personal empowerment program, a page of motivational pep talk on a self development topic of value.  Each month for 3 months, the topic comes back in a little more depth to enhance and reinforce the learning, teaching me all about what is important for me and how to be better at being me.
  • A priority to-do list with check boxes for completion status
  • A problem solving program and process
  • A goal setting program, with action steps towards my #1 goal each day
  • A gratitude journal, to remind me of the wonderful things I already have in my life
  • A daily affirmation, to lock in what I desire from my life
  • Learning how to be aware of what I learnt from what happened to me today
  • Recording a ‘high’ and ‘low’ point of the day, to make me aware of mood shifts and my attitude and behaviour when things in my day change
  • A cashflow program, for recording my earning and spending and increasing my financial habits awareness
  • A comment on my major achievement for the day, a little celebration
  • A journal section with topics to discuss and explore, as well as my own personal journaling on thoughts about my day.

A few minutes morning and evening is all this program takes, but when I developed the first crude version of it back in 1992, it turned my then miserable life around on a sixpence!

What did I learn from my success program, inspired by my failures?

Awareness of my personality.  I learnt that there was a lot more going on around me than I thought.  Looking at my mood shifts, I realised I was jumping between sub-personalities!  When I mastered that, it was a game-changer.

Awareness of others.  As my awareness increased, I learnt to listen to and observe others more closely.  I was no longer swept along in the tide of humanity; I was an observer, choosing with discernment where I wanted to be.

Awareness of my finances.  No more reaching for my wallet to realise I’d already spent that note I thought I had.  I became conscious of my spending and many other habits that previously I had left on auto-pilot.

Awareness of my lessons.  What good is an experience if it doesn’t teach us something?  Each day I’d record what I learnt from my successes and failures and found I was sitting on a wealth of valuable experiences, that I had been glossing over and forgetting.

Awareness of my communications.  Failure in communications is ripping the world apart and it was tearing mine apart too.  When I became aware of the power of my words, what I said to me internally, and what I said to others, I took back control of my life.

Awareness of my intuition.  Perhaps my greatest failures were from not listening to my intuition screaming at me at critical moments.  Learning to discern between negative mind chatter and genuine intuitive processing and inspiration has possibly been the most powerful of all for me.  Intuition taps into a global network of incredible resources, information and a wealth of ideas and inspiration that a single human mind could not process, but it can access it!  The greatest minds have acknowledged it – Einstein and the American Founding Fathers to name a few.  Allowing the messages to come to me and recognising their value has been phenomenal – and averted many failures too!

How can you gain empowerment from my failures?

This program is available to you also.  The work of putting it together has been done.  Now you can download it and plug it into your life.  In a few minutes, morning and evening, you can start to change your life too!  I found that over a 90 day period, I experienced life changing results from the habits I broke or changed and the new habits I formed and integrated into my life.  Over those 90 days, my awareness exploded; I found myself observing events, nuances and inferences from situations that had previously slipped by me.  It was like looking at my life as a black and white pencil sketch, then suddenly making it a full colour photo, with the richness of the new observations filling in the colours.

#failures

Open up to a whole new world!
Image from wonderwoman.intoday.in

Is 90 days of this life change program all that is necessary?

If some is good, maybe more is better.  Why does a butcher sharpen his knives continually?  Because he needs to have them sharp all the time.  Just as our minds and our intuition need to be continually honed to work best, I find that by continuing with my life change program each day, I am both continually refreshing myself with these habits, changing any that do not serve me, and keeping focussed on my important goals.

How can you have this program in your life?

It’s as simple as downloading it here, and starting on it straight away.  The daily PEP talk tutorials are a great start to the day, and having your goal action steps in front of you first thing in the morning is an inspiration.  But nothing quite like the feeling of coming in at night and ticking off your achievements.

Download it here now and make a start.  Learn from my failures.  Don’t let this be one of yours.  Change your life from today.

If you have gained a benefit from learning about my failures and how I turned them to my benefit, please reblog and share this post with your friends, family and associates.  Share your journey with them.  Everyone deserves an opportunity to turn their failures and mistakes into golden opportunities and that’s what this is!  Pay it forward!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

 

What would an empowered man do?

#What would an empowered man do

Empowered Man
Image from theredlist.fr

“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
Rich DeVos

What would an empowered man do?

It’s easy to preach.  It’s easy to lecture.  It’s harder to live what you preach and lecture about.  It’s especially hard when Spirit or fate or the Gods on high decide to confront you with a problem straight out of the box you were preaching from!

The question is, when something like this happens, what would an empowered man do?

Now, an empowered man here refers to empowered women, children, teens, civic leaders, politicians, and anyone else you can think of.  It’s all of us, and I’m lumping us together under the term ‘man’.

The guy (or girl) comes home, tired and well and truly over the day, it’s been a tough one.  Their partner is frustrated as their day was tough too, the kids are noisy, but they just want to sit with a beer or wine and relax, let the day go and when they feel like it, come join the family.  But the kids want to play, their partner wants a hand in the kitchen, stuff is happening all around and this is not a time when they can opt out for a while.

#What would an empowered man do

Home at last!
Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

What would an empowered man do?

The question really should come back to “what is important in this life?” and start from there.  Attend to the first priorities and work outwards from there, once they have been attended to.

First priority?  There’s their partner standing there, tired and very frustrated with their day also.  This person committed to spend their life with them, and share the joys and hassles of their family forever.  WOW!  Number one priority?

#What would an empowered man do?  He would kiss this lady, tell her he loved her and block the world out for a while.  There’s a book called “The ten second kiss” that I have referred to in my seminars and it suggests that night and morning, and leaving for work and coming home from work is a powerful time for it, that you should kiss your spouse or partner for at least ten seconds.  At least twice a day, at those important times.

Why?  Because when you kiss someone for ten seconds with your full intention and attention on your kissing, it speaks volumes to them about your love for them, and it does them a world of good too.  Things like easing tension, frustration and giving the feeling to them that they are loved and supported in every way.  Sort of an antidote to a tiring and frustrating day.

What about the dinner on the stove?  What about the kids?  What about all the other distractions?

Take the pot off the heat – it’s only for 10 seconds!  Get the kids to time you – this is a powerful way for them to see and experience what love between their parents is and should be.  There is not much that cannot be put off for just ten seconds!

#What would an empowered man do

A great daily ritual
Image from karapearson.com

OK, that’s Priority 1 done.  Priority 2 should be a hug for the kids.  Big hug, acknowledgement for a moment, so they feel the love too, and it’s amazing how often that is enough for them for a time.  Time to enable you to handle the other issues that are demanding attention.  Perhaps you can be with the kids in a family way.  Grab a coffee or tea, sit with your spouse and children on the couch for a few minutes, have a family hug, right after your ten second kiss.  Take a few more minutes with all of you together, sharing your days.  Ask your spouse about their day, their ups and downs.  The same with the children, asking questions gets them present and takes their mind off concerns that drag energies down.  That also allows you to catch up on the urgent news and to plan the next few minutes of dealing with the other issues, such as the dinner that’s cooking, the chores to be done, homework and so on.

What would an empowered man do?  He’d first attend to his family and be nurtured by them, while he empowers them with his love and attention.  He’d make this a daily ritual.

Another scenario.  The empowered man (or woman) is at work and the boss yells at them, bawling them out over something, whether it’s valid or not.  The boss is a chump, loud mouthed and obnoxious.  The first reaction is to make a batch of ‘nose jam’ and spread it all over his face.

#What would an empowered man do

Not again!
Image from www.mccormicksys.com

What would an empowered man do?

First, is it OK to get angry?  Yes, and it’s natural to get angry at times.  The human body and most other species become angry if provoked.  It’s what happens next that matters.

We established a few blogs back that you cannot win an argument.  We learnt in another blog about how to empower people when they are angry or fearful, so that you can work with them rationally and come to a good resolution.

#What would an empowered man do

Empowerment Emotional Tone Scale

This image is the Empowerment Tone Scale.

(Click on this image to enlarge it!)

The angry person is down under the empowerment line.  The fearful or grieving person is lower still, near the bottom.  To relate with these people, you need to boost them and their emotional state up to the empowerment level at “interest”, near the top, even if only for a few seconds!  You do that with targeted questions, relevant to the topic, but ones they need to process a little.  That processing is the key to empowerment.  This is because for the mind to process a question, it needs to be in a constructive state, not destructive.  Asking a question raises the person’s emotional state.  It empowers the person you are asking the question of.

Back to our angry boss.  What would an empowered man do?

They would engage the boss with simple, relevant questions to establish the parameters of the situation.  They would go on to ask about the specifics.  Then they would ask the most powerful question framework “WHAT can WE do about THIS PROBLEM?”  This establishes the conflict as an issue separate to either of them, but a problem they can solve as a team.  A totally different scenario to when the boss walked in.

#What would an empowered man do

That’s better! All sorted now!
Image from www.act-now.ca

Does it work every time?  Of course not.  But it’s what an empowered person would do first, rather than inflame the issue with retaliation.

Of course, launching into strategies such as these without a reference point in place is going to be a challenge.  For some men, if they arrived home and without warning, took their wife and kissed her solidly for more than a few seconds, it would either frighten them or make them very suspicious.  After reading this blog, discuss it with your partner and adopt this practice of the ten second kiss morning and evening.  Make the family hug a ritual.  You’ll probably find it changes other areas of your life too.

With your boss, don’t wait until he’s furious before you try to empower him.  Use simple but relevant questions all the time to build his level of empowerment and you’ll find he is much less likely to explode if and when something does go wrong.  And at that time, he’ll respond better when you ask more questions, because you have conditioned the situation already.  It won’t be anything new!

What would an empowered man do, to become more empowered in the first place?  

How do you get to BE this way, without needing to re-read this blog when life serves you a rotten tomato?

Empowerment is not hard.  It’s simple, it’s strategic and it’s constant.  Constant implementing of daily success habits, morning and evening, practicing throughout the day and celebrating your successes at night.  It’s challenging yourself to be the best you can, and recording your efforts to be your best.  It’s dropping unproductive habits and replacing them with success habits that step you closer to your own goals every day.  It’s putting yourself in a state of mind that is empowered by the environment you create around you.  It’s choosing the people you associate with, the information and influences that go into your mind and surround you in your life.  One tiny step at a time, all the time.  It’s simple, and it’s constant. Click here to learn more about becoming Empowered and learning to use your EQ, as well as your IQ!

After a while, it becomes a habit and is the state of mind you unconsciously life in.

During the learning process, we pass through four stages of competency.  They are:

  1. Unconsciously incompetent – we don’t even know we are messing things up!
  2. Consciously incompetent – we know how bad we are at this new thing.
  3. Consciously competent – we know what to do but still need to focus to get it right.
  4. Unconsciously competent – it’s become a good, solid habit; no need to even think about it anymore; we do it unconsciously and get it right every time!

After a while, these new success habits that we practice daily, morning and evening, become a part of our subconscious program and we do them without thinking.  We LIVE them.

#What would an empowered man do

Words of a wise and empowered man
Image from wolflaguerra.wordpress.com

What would an empowered man do?  Subscribe to this program and share it amongst his family, friends and workmates, to empower them too…

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”
Bill Moyers

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

 

 

Personal Empowerment

#Personal Empowerment

Personal Empowerment – starting young!
Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

Personal Empowerment.

asinha97
You are responsible for your life. So why expect something to happen for motivation. Self motivation is biggest drive for self empowerment. Anil Sinha

 

I recently sat with a man who had asked me to write his biography, his journey from weighing 350 pounds (160 kilograms) back to 200 pounds (90 kg).  After he told me his story, I had a question for him.  First, here is his story, briefly.

He had told me that as he grew fatter, just from being a glutton and careless, he grew too big to do his ceiling insulation batt business – he couldn’t fit through the manholes into the ceiling cavity, so he sold that business and bought a security patrol business.  Then he couldn’t get in and out of the patrol cars because of his rapidly expanding girth, so he sold that business too.  Eventually he began selling real estate in a city office because all he had to do was stand (or sit) near the front door where people would walk by, and he could talk to them.

#Personal Empowerment

Something wrong with this picture
Image from nypost.com

However, the life changing chain of events for him began with the bicycle shop next door.  Sometimes he’d stand at his front door and chat to the owner of the bicycle shop, a former triathlete champion, and one day he asked him if he could try riding a bike, as he thought he might like to lose some weight.  Just making conversation.  The reply was that he didn’t stock a bike that would hold his weight!

Then he needed to run to the back of his shop again to the toilet, for the fifth time that hour, and the bicycle shop owner told him he needed to get ‘that’ checked out.  He already knew what his problem was.  The doctor told him after a few short minutes “You have chronic diabetes caused by your eating habits.  If you don’t lose 100 pounds this year, you won’t see next year!”  It scared him; he said those words felt like machine gun fire into his chest!

My question to him was: “If that doctor had not threatened you with your own death, at what point would you have decided you were overweight and needed to do something about it?”

His answer?  “I don’t know.  I never considered it!  I don’t know what it would have taken to have that amount of personal empowerment, to recognise my problem and deal with it!”

Personal empowerment is not a big deal.

#Personal Empowerment

A whale of a time!
Image from selfimprovementdevelopment.com

My definition for #personal empowerment is the willingness to honestly see yourself as you are, and to commit to making any changes you feel are necessary for your wellbeing, on any level, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.

That just means that if you know you are not fit, you decide to change that and you do what you need to do, to become more fit.  If you have bad breath, you brush your teeth.  If someone tells you that your breath is bad, you don’t abuse them for being rude to you; you thank them for being honest with you and then you brush your teeth.

Being less than you can be, less than your human potential is a crime against yourself.  That doesn’t mean that you need to be training to be fit enough to run the next marathon.  It doesn’t mean you need to immediately begin to diet, or take any other radical steps.  It has nothing to do with vanity, and everything to do with your personal pride.  Look honestly at yourself. Ask yourself if you are the person you always wanted to be. If you can see how you can become closer to that ideal, then you need the strength to commit to making the changes that will get you there.

OK, I hear some howls of protest!  Personal empowerment?  I’m suffering from a chronic illness, I can’t do that!  I was in a car accident and my injuries won’t allow that!  I am overweight because I have a medical condition and the drugs affect me!

Relax.  The question is; are you being all you can be?  If you are ill, then you are ill and that will place limitations on you physically.  But how is your heart?  How is your spirit?  How is your mind?

Personal empowerment will take you from where you are in your life, to where you could be.  It’s not about being fitter, faster, smarter or better than anyone else, just being the best YOU that you could be.  Sometimes, personal empowerment is just being the best parent you can be, so that you can be an empowered parent for your children.  What this world needs probably most of all, is empowered people, who can be empowered parents, so that the next generation who are our children now can take over this world and continue to make it better and fix the mistakes we have made in getting it to them.

Personal empowerment is worth it.

But how do you get personal empowerment?

#Personal Empowerment

It’s the little things that count!
Image from mylifeismymessage.org

It’s easy.  Baby steps each day.  It’s not a massive shift, it’s just a few little success habits to get into each day, and then continue to do them every day!  Not hard at all.  You already have a number of habits right now, perhaps some that don’t serve you that you could replace, others that you definitely want to maintain.  Like brushing your teeth.  But add some affirmations and goalsetting to that.  Perhaps doing a few minutes reading of something positive each morning and evening – just a few minutes.  Perhaps setting priorities for your day, specific things that will actually advance you a little closer to your goals.  Perhaps at the end of the day, doing a review and seeing what you achieved, what you learned, what you felt, and checking off what you actually did.  If you started a new habit, check off that you did it, or didn’t – make yourself accountable.

Get into success habits.  Start feeling a sense of achievement for the little things, so that when the big things come up and real personal empowerment is needed to face those challenges, you have already been practising, you have the success habits in place, all you are doing is changing the goal……!  See?  Simple.

That is personal empowerment.  A program with all of this exists now for you to slip into your daily routine; you can get it here.  A few minutes morning and evening and it is done.

The bonus is that it teaches you lots of other cool strategies as well, such as communication skills, financial success tips, stress management and health tips, mental strategies, conflict resolution, goal setting and a whole heap more over the 90 days of the program.  That’s the few minutes of positive and empowered reading material, a couple of hundred words a day to get you on track with life changing strategies in every area of your life.  Personal empowerment was never so easy!  Start your personal empowerment program now! Click here to begin!

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Be ambitious towards your own personal enhancement.  Steve Mariboli

Please also refer to other posts on Empowerment:

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

What would an empowered man do?

Empowerment for Children

#Empowerment for Children

Happy, learning children
Image from www.cumc.com

Empowerment for Children

In Empowerment for Teens, we saw that the way children are raised has a huge effect on their behaviour as teens and then young adults.  This is found in the most basic of human instincts, the instinct of survival, one of the few a baby is born with, and is very relevant in #Empowerment for Children

To survive, a human being is programmed to do whatever it must.  As a baby has little conscious thought capability at birth, everything is trial, error and instinct.  Babies rely on mothers for feeding, nurturing, protection and survival.  Therefore keeping mother close is a survival instinct.  To do this, some babies cry, some laugh, some are cute and coy, some are funny little clowns.  All are survival strategies initially; the range of survival strategies expands as the baby grows.

A toddler cry baby doesn’t get much sympathy.  However, the baby can learn that a certain laugh, or a certain funny behaviour can get mother’s attention, so that becomes a strategy.  This might be the start of the ‘clown’ survival strategy.  Robin Williams claims this was his way of surviving school, where the bigger boys bullied him until he told jokes!  Now, it is his career!

With most young animals in a nest, if there is competition for food, the bully always wins.  The same with human babies – the instinct is to get in first and get the food to survive.  A bigger or more boisterous baby may become a bully as a survival strategy amongst smaller siblings.  A smaller one may realise that direct action against a bully would not work, but being sneaky and agile might – monkey like antics might become the survival strategy, or outright stealth, guile and theft.  Just as a survival strategy.

#Empowerment for Children

Feeding time – who’s going to get it?
Image from commons.wikimedia.org

However, we see these same strategies employed in adults!  This is because these survival strategies become embedded as “sub-personalities” in the mind and psyche of the child and remain embedded as the child grows up.  At one time they were all relevant as survival strategies; now, as adults many are redundant, but they remain.

Can we be sure of that? Are sub-personalities real?

Think of a young mother in an ordinary day and how many sub-personalities she operates with, just to make it through the day, from leaving bed in the morning, to bedtime at night.

Waking, she becomes a mother first, looking after the immediate needs of her children, feeding, clothing and getting them ready for school.  Then she becomes a taxi-driver to deliver them to school.  Then it’s onto the freeway in the car to drive to work, she’s a racing driver.  At work she becomes a dutiful employee, slightly subservient to her supervisor, but definitely superior to that jerk from the mail sorting room who tried to hit on her last week!  Hmmph!  Then she suddenly becomes mother again at lunch time with a call from the school that one of the children has fallen and scraped a knee, but it’s OK, the school nurse has bandaged it and it will be fine.  A text message from her husband, saying he’s thinking about her and how wonderful it was to cuddle up naked under the sheets last night.  She started reading the messages as a loving wife, but by the end of it, a nymph had emerged.  She looks up from the message and sees the other office workers looking at her and she becomes a blushing teenager!  Back to work and she becomes the dutiful employee again.  Time to go home and she enters rush hour traffic and she becomes the road rage Mama for half an hour.  Home at last, she becomes mother again.  Husband arrives home and she becomes wife for a moment as he kisses her, and then mother again as she prepares dinner and scolds the children for the noise they are making.  After dinner she becomes a school teacher while helping with homework.  Bedtime for the kids, she becomes a wife again and sits quietly with husband discussing the day.  Bedtime for her, she showers and slips into bed and the text message nymph of earlier in the day appears and for the next hour, she is none of the previous sub-personalities from throughout the day!

#Empowerment for Children

Herman’s Head Sub-Personalities
Image from www.sitcomsonline.com

Whew!  All those different sub-personalities and all appropriate at different times of the day, with different people, and different situations.  Definitely not appropriate to mix them up and when that does happen, disaster is not far away!

How are sub-personalities relevant to empowerment for children?

The baby we first looked at is developing sub-personalities as it grows older, in order to survive.  The empowered child, the well balanced and happy child will confidently move between sub-personalities almost unconsciously, provided we create and foster a supportive environment around them, making it safe for them to grow, explore and experience the world.

How do we make empowerment for children possible?

As parents, it is our responsibility to create the most supportive environment for our children to grow up in.  The best way to do that is for us to be fully empowered personally first – being the best parents and teachers we can be, for them to model as they grow.  Empowerment for Children comes after their parents learn empowerment for women and empowerment for men!

Children do not do as they are taught.  Children do as they are shown by example and that is why they model older children, rather than anonymous characters from text books!  As parents, we need to demonstrate what we want children to learn, and provide the environment where this learning is possible!

Enlightened educationalists will tell us that children learn best in a happy environment where they can experience what they are learning about.  Experiential learning has become a buzz word but really, children have been doing it for thousands of generations, learning through their childhood games.  We need to ensure those childhood games are possible, safe and that we can participate in them to the extent we need to, so that we can give guidance as and when the children need it.

#Empowerment for Children

Learning by playing
Image from lindaoconnell.blogspot.com

The best way for empowerment for children to be experienced is by parents reading to children.  If you have ever seen the rapt look on a child’s face as they explore a picture book with Mummy or Daddy, and the innocent questions that come from it, you will understand.  As the child grows, reading more mature story books opens the child’s mind to the wider world.  I remember my Dad reading “Treasure Island” to me, and another of our favourites, “Two years on Bardunyah Station”, an Australian outback cattle station where everything was larger than life.  Stories such as these allowed us to create magical images of what lay beyond and enthused us with the desire to get out and explore the world, to discover our own Treasure Islands and feel the vastness of the wide outdoors.  We were fortunate that we had empowered parents who understood this.

#Empowerment for Children

Reading to your child is empowering for them
edu101.hubpages.com

When the children do get outdoors, be there with them!  Children’s school sports days are a great place for them to show off to Mum and Dad, if they are sporting by nature.  Music recitals or dance classes are other great ways to participate in your children’s activities if they have come to love the arts.  Whether or not they are the best doesn’t matter, as long as you demonstrate your involvement, and show encouragement for their efforts!

#Empowerment for Children

School sports day
www.chengelo.sch.zm

Is it OK for a child to fail?

Empowerment for Children can only happen when the child learns to fall over and stand up to try again!  So many are nursed through childhood that when they reach teens and Mum and Dad can’t keep an eye on them every waking moment, that the first obstacle they come across flummoxes them!  They need to learn from setbacks; learn to power on despite them and because of them, learning from the mistakes and picking up the lessons!  Only in this way do they become ‘battle hardened’ for the sometimes hostile environments they will face as teens and young adults.

#Empowerment for Children

Ooops! Here comes a lesson!
Image from liketreesplanted.com

However, of critical importance is where Mummy and Daddy are when they fall, and how THEY react to their child’s failures!  Empowerment for children happens when they learn from parents that it’s not the failure that matters, it’s getting the lesson and starting over that is important!  If parents are critical of poor school results, poor sporting results or music recitals, then the child learns that it’s a hard world and their parents are just another part of it.  If instead Parents are there to encourage and teach success habits, they learn that mistakes and failings are only stepping stones to success!  They learn what we demonstrate!

This is important in another way too, because as parents we fail sometimes too, and our children know it!  They recognise in us the mistakes we make, and if we judge them harshly for their mistakes, that is what they have learned to do with us.  They become the most critical and unforgiving teenagers unless they learn the truth about mistakes – they are just part of the lifelong education system we are all enrolled in!

Empowerment for our children is directly proportional to the amount of personal empowerment we, as adult parents have.  When WE are empowered, we can empower others, especially our children.  Personal development and empowerment work for us is how we can best empower our children, and lead by example on their march into their teens and adulthood.  Click HERE to become a more Empowered Parent now!

If you feel this post has contributed to empowerment for children, please share and reblog amongst your friends and associates.  So many parents are crying out for empowerment for children, but don’t realise that it is within reach.  Your sharing may change the life of another – everyone deserves personal empowerment and this could be the day you make a difference!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

 

Empowerment for Teens

#Empowerment for teens

Moving on up!
Image from everydaylife.globalpost.com

Empowerment for Teens

#Empowerment for teens

The fugitives
Image from www.dvdmg.com

In the movies, you see the police chasing the fugitives and the wily old detective says something like “to catch them, we need to understand what drives them”…  Big game hunters say something similar, even now when hunting with a camera for shots for National Geographic, they need to understand what motivates their targets before they can film them.  Do you see the pattern?

No, we are not hunting for teenagers.  We know where they are, mostly.…  But why?  Why are teenagers, just like teenagers?  What drives a teenager to behave as a teenager?

No, it’s not a trick question.  In answering it, we can understand and find #empowerment for teens and teach them how they can be happier teens.  To do this, we need to go way back into human evolution, thousands of generations.  Back when achieving and surviving your teens was a bit like reaching pension age.  The world was a savage place, survival was not guaranteed and there was no social security when things got tough.

Early humans were programmed to survive and to continue their species, in a very hostile environment where man was not the supreme predator.  Understanding the human program is the key to understanding teenagers and children, and to helping them make it safely into adulthood!

What is this “human program”?

The human program is to:

  • Survive
  • Explore
  • Experience
  • Identify
  • Procreate
  • Leave a legacy

Understanding this programming enables both teens and parents to understand how the most appropriate Empowerment for Teens can be achieved, especially in the modern world.

Looking at the programs one by one, we can see how they apply, and match behaviours according to the inbuilt human programming.

Survive

#Empowerment for teens

Fight or flight!
www.lookandlearn.com

We are born into an alien world, helpless, without language, unable to walk or feed ourselves, totally reliant on someone else to protect and nurture us and teach us to survive.

That is a scary deal!  Different people/babies react in different ways.  Some are demanding and scream until Mother comes to cuddle, feed them or give them attention.  That is how they survive, by demanding attention.  Others are cute and use being cute to keep Mother close by, to nurture, cuddle and feed their little ‘cutey pie’.  Yet others are funny, laughing and playful and their antics keep mother close by because it’s fun for her too, to feed, cuddle and nurture her little ‘clown’.  And so our babies find ways to survive.

All through our lives, we find ways to survive.  Those can become sub-personalities, but more on this in our next blog on ‘Empowerment for Children’.  Suffice to say, we adopt sub-personalities as survival strategies as we grow older.

Explore

#Empowerment for teens

Young Explorers
Image from www.prime-movies.net

Can’t keep kids at home?  Of course not!  Since they learned they had wriggly things called fingers that they could see and control, each child has been an explorer.  Some do it through books, some through TV, some on computers and some just run wild!  It’s their nature!  The young mind grows fastest in its formative years because as part of the survival process, they have to learn what’s going on around them!  Their curiosity is natural and healthy!

They explore the world they have discovered.  That is how man pushed out of Africa’s Olduvai Gorge and populated the world.  It’s why Columbus sailed west across the Atlantic in three tiny sailing ships and discovered the New World.  It’s why the Pilgrims settled in North America.  It’s why Captain Cook sailed around the world three times – it’s what he did – he was an explorer.  It’s why my family emigrated to Australia a hundred years ago!

Experience

Why do any of us do what we do?  We are experience creating machines!  Our eyes are the most powerful visual sensory units ever – the most incredible telescopes are still not as versatile as the human eye.  Our ears hear and interpret sounds across a vast range and translate them into a language we communicate with.  Our skin is the largest sensory organ.  Our nose is a delicate smelling tool and our tongue’s taste buds can send us over the moon from exquisite food delicacies.  Deeper within, we have senses that intuit and compute on a level beyond consciousness to bring our world alive in another way.

This is just what an astronomer does with a new telescope, a racing driver does with a new car, and a sailor does with a new yacht!  As a teenager, given new awareness of and freedom with this amazing situation called life and a fabulous body to explore it with, wouldn’t you want to find out how far you can take it?  How amazing an experience you could create?

Identify

#Empowerment for teens

Teens together
From www.digitaltrends.com

As babies, we experience life through our mothers, not as individuals until time has passed and we begin to exercise control over our body.  Mother is still close but we learn that we can safely venture away a little.  As years pass, we venture further, finally heading off to school, joining a class of children the same age, doing the same classroom exercises.

As teens, classroom shackles are lessened; we have freedom to explore.  Freedom to meet and form groups of our choosing, not classrooms chosen for us.  This is where friendships, group associations and identities begin to form.  This is where young people begin to search for others like them, who think and feel the way they do, who they feel safe expressing their fears and doubts and joys and delights with.  Mum and Dad are always giving us rules to follow; teachers have other rules; where can we be free, together?  This is where we see the gangs as well as special interest groups form.  Some play football, some are cheerleaders, some play chess, some hang out in the mall and pick on little kids for their pocket money.  Identities are formed, sometimes directly aligned with our survival sub-personalities from infancy.

Procreate

#Empowerment for teens

Teen romance
asp.cumc.columbia.edu

Possibly the next most powerful force after survival is procreation, the program for the species to reproduce and ensure its survival.  It is the nature of life to procreate.  Life will always find a way.

With human beings, this program is set to explode as the body reaches the stage when it is physically mature enough to reproduce – based on a situation that humans faced many thousands of years ago, when old age could be anything beyond teenage years!  In those days, with a very short life expectancy, reproduction had to begin as early as possible and happen often, because mortality was high and more children were needed to ensure there were enough who lived for survival of the tribe.

Now, the tribe would rather the teenagers waited until they were married before this process happens.  The program says otherwise; it screams it loudly and urgently to the teens and won’t take no for an answer!

Leave a legacy

#Empowerment for teens

Graffiti?
By erinsingleton.wordpress.com

Some of the most fascinating art ever done is cave art from thousands of years ago, notably the Painted Caves in France.  This is early man leaving a legacy.  So why are we surprised when kids tag trains and walls with spray cans of paint?  We venerate one form as art but vilify the other!  The reality is that it is a program, just as much as it was for Leonardo to paint the Mona Lisa, Michelangelo the Sistine Chapel, for Bill Gates to create Microsoft and the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, and for so many of us to want to write a book.  It’s a legacy.

We are born with a burning question:  “Why are we here?”  How else will anyone ever know we were here?  Our legacy has some answers.

How does this relate to Empowerment for Teens?

Whilst this blog is not a teen operating manual, it gives insight into behavioural drives that motivate and provide empowerment for teens.  It’s handy for parents to understand, as well as for teens.  Teens want to understand themselves, because in their search for ways to survive, explore, experience, identify, procreate and leave a legacy, they want to understand other teens too.  Empowerment for teens through these inbuilt programs is a subconscious, impatient driver and motivator.  If teens were more conscious of it, and if education became better targeted in these areas, they could control it better and empowerment for teens could be managed, even harnessed!  Currently, motivators for teen behaviours are at best a mystery for many parents, as well as the teens!

How to provide empowerment for teens

#Empowerment for teens

Family fun outings
From www.telegraph.co.uk

The key to this is understanding the motivators and providing opportunities for them to occur naturally, without threatening the teenagers’ development.  When these ancient programs developed, two main skills required were to hunt and to fight.  Now, many are in school or university til mid twenties and neither of those skills are called upon.  We are programs screaming around in a body with nowhere to express ourselves!

With survival not really an issue, exploration, experiences and identity become the primary drivers for early teens.  Providing suitable safe opportunities for these enables curious teens to develop in ways that will enable them to have a safe and fun journey through their world, and take the pressure off for the next two programs to begin – that of procreation and leaving a legacy.  Education enables them to identify and form bonds with the groups most suitable for them.  Without the pressures of survival, they can take their time to decide to procreate when they have prepared for it.

Taking a giant leap forward to look at Maslow’s hierarchy, we can see that ‘self actualisation’ is at the top.  Effectively this is delaying the “leaving a legacy” until the other drives have been satisfied – suggesting that it is a more naturally occurring process after teen years, provided all other drives are satisfied.

The practical application of Empowerment for Teens 

#Empowerment for teens

Family discussion over dinner
fromdiploma2dreamjob.com

When working with and searching for real empowerment for teens, look at what stage they are at and what program is driving them.  When you know they want to explore and experience, don’t lock them in a bland room with homework.  Find a way to give them experiences that satisfy their drives, as well as provide an environment that brings their homework and education alive.  Enable them to meet and experience wider groups of people and cultures to enable them to choose the identities they relate to, but from a much wider range of options.  Don’t force choices from a narrow range of options or they will rebel in their need to explore and survive.

Educational experiences with cultures and expressions outside the norm of daily life will provide healthy empowerment for teens and an enthusiasm for more of what life has to offer.  When youth and enthusiasm meet, the other barnacles of life such as arguing with parents, chores and homework become insignificant issues that no longer represent limits to their freedom.  Rather, they see them as part of their freedom, opportunities and way of life.

This creates healthy relationships in which communication is usually much better.  Issues such as procreation – boyfriends and girlfriends, sex education, career and life directions can actually become interesting family discussions.  When family remain friends, identities are also more closely fostered and often less radically chosen.

However, remember that generalities are generally wrong.  Expect that teens will always surprise everyone, including themselves!

To assist with providing discipline that is not parental, but rather self guided and self consolidating success habits, a program of daily encouragement, teaching goalsetting, affirmations, rewarding achievement, journalling thoughts and feelings and raising awareness of emotions and the daily lessons of life is vital and incredibly powerful.  Such a program is Life Change 90.  Click HERE to begin your Personal Empowerment Program NOW!

If you feel this post has contributed to empowerment for teens, please share and reblog amongst your friends and associates.  So many are crying out for empowerment for teens, but don’t realise that it is within reach.  Your sharing may change the life of another – everyone deserves personal empowerment and this could be the day you make a difference!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my related posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment for Children

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

 

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