Life Change 90

Maybe we can help with that. Everything you need is in a program created to empower people and Angels facing challenges, just like you may be. The support, the positive encouragement, the education, motivation and inspiration each day, right here with you, every day.

I FOUND IT!
Image from goinflippincrazy.com

An Angel Without Wings

A whole city of Angels!
Image from swotti.com

“If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.”
― Tennessee Williams, Conversations with Tennessee Williams

An Angel Without Wings.

God is forever creating new Angels.

One day some time ago, he finished another Angel – but was having a bad day and forgot to give her wings.

“Darn it!” he thought. “Well, I won’t put her back. I’ll give her extra serves of love and courage, a radiant smile and she can go to earth and be an Angel down there, where she won’t need wings.” So he put her on earth, as a baby.

Earth was a harsh environment for the Angel baby. Life kept putting obstacles in her way, challenges to solve and the burdens of other people to weigh on her also. There always seemed to be something else to do, someone else to heal, to care for or to help.

“My Angels have a lot of work to do,” he told Saint Peter.

But with the extra love and courage in her heart, the Little Angel’s smile shone like a beacon through all her trials and tribulations. She became an inspiration to those around her.

God said, “I will give her more to do.” He sent more needy people her way.

Life’s ordeals and unscrupulous people took away all she had, her health, her marriage, her money and he thought, “Surely this will try her out!”

Her courage never faltered, still her smile shone and her love inspired those who knew her.

St Peter looked down and wept at what he saw!

“God!!” he cried. “You can’t keep this up! She has already done more by her example than many of your other Angels and raised her children to be like herself. Her example inspires all in the world that see her. Please ease her burden, so that she may freely work for you!”

“Perhaps, Peter, you are right. I will think on it.” God was pensive. He stroked a whiskered chin with his thumb. “I’ll tell you what I will do, Peter. I will give her the love of a wonderful man, surround her with true friends and shower her with peace of mind and satisfaction for what she does.

Maybe in the future her burdens will ease – but right now, My Little Angel Without Wings has much to do.”

WWII Fuzzy Wuzzy Angel in Papua New Guinea, assisting an injured Australian soldier. Angels come disguised in so many ways!
Image from en.wikipedia.org

“For truly we are all angels temporarily hiding as humans.”
― Brian L. Weiss

There are many angels without wings, just like this one. You know who you are, Dear Angel. You know when you are an angel to someone who needs you, someone whose challenges need some extra attention and you can give it to them, even though your own troubles and challenges almost overwhelm you. You know so many people count on you and you just have to be there for them. Take a bow – you are not alone!

An Angel at work!
Image from humanrights.gov.au

But you feel alone, Dear Angel, so much of the time. You feel like the pain you bear will overpower you. You feel like the isolation your situation causes will bury you in loneliness. You feel like no-one else would understand your situation, even if you knew how to explain it to them. And yet you keep on. And you keep praying. Because that’s what an Angel will do.

More power to you.

This world has need of an angel like you. We need more of you, many more of you. If I could create the “Angel without Wings Network”, you’d be in there, with all those other special angels without wings, helping each other and helping heal the world.

There is an Angel Network. However, it doesn’t cater for angels like this one, or perhaps an #Angel like you. You are an Angel in hiding, a secret Angel that only a few people know about and appreciate, unfortunately.

Even Angels have bad days!
Image from fanpop.com

What I do know is that you, our Dear Angel, need help. You need to give yourself the best possible chance of making it through this, and out to the bright spot on the other side. And to do that, you need a loving and supportive environment around you. You need encouragement, morning and evening, to keep going. You need to see your achievements each evening, so you know your day has been worthwhile, valuable to someone and satisfying to you. You need your own goals to aim for and to achieve, and you need to be taught how to rise to all the challenges that life is and will continue to throw at you.

Need a hand getting through life? CLICK HERE FOR ASSISTANCE! Let us empower you to make it, no matter what life throws at you. After all, an Angel without wings still should feel what it’s like to fly!

If you feel that this post has empowered an Angel, or made an Angel feel she could fly again, please share it, reblog it and pass it on to other Angels without Wings. You know who they are. Every angel should feel like they have another Angel to share with, and to fly to at times. This could be your time to fly!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails, Angels!

Ray

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.”
― Anonymous, Holy Bible: King James Version

Old Habits Die Hard

Intense conditioning and programming of habits under way!
Image from git-security.com

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
― Samuel Johnson

Old Habits Die Hard!

Norm was fresh out of the army. For six years, it had been the ‘spit and polish’ routine, and “Yes Sir, No Sir” had been the way of life. Now, all that was finished, Norm was back home for a while. It felt good, having the chance to break away from all the routines and settle into the easier going life on the farm for a change. Well, that was the intention. Old habits die hard!

The first day back, and his father decided to bring in a load of firewood. While Norm and the other boys polished off breakfast, Dad put the chainsaws on the truck, along with a few crow bars and axes.

Breakfast over, the boys trooped out. Suddenly Norm called out, “Hang on a minute,” and darted back into the house. About a minute later, he reappeared, with a silly grin on his face.

“I don’t have to polish my boots for you bunch.” He said. “Let’s go!”

#Old habits die hard!

“Some rules are nothing but old habits that people are afraid to change.”
― Therese Anne Fowler, Souvenir

We all have conditioning drilled into us. Conditioning is habit – we all have habits and have had for many, many years. Our lives run by habit and that’s generally OK. Takes a lot of pressure off remembering what to do, like breathe, walk and so on. Subconscious programs are developed when we learn and develop habits. We may not even realise they are running, while they take control of our lives. Maybe we’d like to change them, but old habits die hard.

A habit to change?
Image from abcnewsradioonline.com

Not all conditioning or habits are good, and some may need to be changed as we outgrow them. We do outgrow habits and their subconscious programs.

Habits and subconscious programs are like railroad tracks. Hard to get off, once you get onto those rails.

A program in motion
Image from wikipedia.org

Programs can fail or go wrong, without us realising until it has happened. That’s when trouble hits and we find the program no longer serves us.

Can someone please explain this to me?
Image from gizmodo.com.au

Getting off tracks and out of habits and programs can be a challenge. Old habits die hard!

A bit of a challenge changing tracks the hard way.
Image from ptarm.tumblr.com

However, done correctly, changing an unwanted habit or program can be easy!

Changing habits should be this easy!
Image from leungkm.blogspot.com

You just need to install a new program. Not all old habits die hard, after all!

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Ryun

My Darling wife bought a new computer today. A beautiful object, a work of art. However, it’s useless. It has no programs installed. YET. The program is in the box, ready to download. Then, the computer will be ready to do the most amazing things for her. With the new program installed. Doing what SHE wants it to do.

Isn’t it lovely?
Image from zdnet.com

This is also how to change a habit you no longer want, a habit that is running as a subconscious program in your life. Insert a different program into your computer. Change your program!

One new program/habit coming up!
Image from www.mln.com.au

Yes, it can be done. There is a program specifically designed to enable you to change habits, simply, quickly and without getting yourself off track and into trouble. Creating a controlled environment around you, supportive, encouraging, and one that celebrates your successes and supports you into new habits and conscious programming of your mind and your life. Old habits die hard, but only when you don’t know how to change them properly!

Click here to find out more about changing habits, and learning new ones that can make life so much better for you, in any way you desire. And kick that old, unwanted habit to the kerb!

“A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit.”
― Desiderius Erasmus

If you found this post to be empowering, and supports you into changing old programs and unwanted habits, please share it with your friends and associates. Reblog it so that other people can gain these benefits too. They will be grateful you did.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Warren Buffett chuckled and said to me “I hope it’s not my bad habits”. Good Habits once established are just as hard to break as bad habits, and bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow. So what are you going to do about it?”
― Lucas Remmerswaal, 13 Habits.com the Tale of Tortoise Buffett and Trader Hare

What a great New Habit!
Image from thingstodococoabeach.com

Empowerment through Challenge

A leap of faith
Image from daretoleap.co.uk

Empowerment through Challenge

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” ― Roger Crawford

There are times when the road seems too hard, the climb too steep, the challenge too great. There are times when the most reasonable decision would be to give up, admit that the challenge was just too hard, and go home.

There are also people for whom that is not a choice.

Their choice is to press on to succeed or literally to die trying – or not trying. Sometimes, the challenge MUST be faced, whether we like it or not. At these times, heroism surfaces.

The unlikely heroes are those people facing chronic illnesses, chronic pain, the “invisible diseases” such as Depression, CFS and Fibromyalgia and other illnesses that at a glance, people afflicted with them show no visible symptoms. Other people with little choice are those whose children face a challenge and as parents, they must continue. There are people struggling on minimum wage, raising families on incomes below the poverty line, with no safety net and where failing the #challenge means starvation.

Invisible Illness – unsung heroes
Image from noonegetsflowersforchronicpain.wordpress.com

There are movies produced about some of the heroes. We may never know the truth of their heroism, such as in the tale of “Lorenzo’s Oil”, where a father studied his son’s disease and in the movie, found the cure for it. There are real life parallels to this tale now, especially since genetic engineering has become an acknowledged branch of science.

There are other heroes, such as where a person has been wrongfully convicted and either they or their partner studied law in order to challenge and perhaps overturn the decision. Heroes where the underdog came through, changed their world, and that of many others too.

Heroes of everyday challenges
Image from themotherhood.com

On a day-to-day basis, there are many heroes facing a challenge that will never make headlines, but is just as real. The single mother, trying to raise her children, without support, on a budget far below what is necessary, in circumstances that can at best be described as a challenge. The small business owner facing tough competition in a changing market, struggling to survive. A person with low self-confidence and low self esteem looking for a new job, a career, or even just a friend. The dyslexic person in the admin role, trying to write a report. So many people face challenges that to others are no big deal, but to them, it’s their life!

There are times when a challenge has created a break through in thinking and a whole new invention, solution or branch of science has resulted. The problem has been solved because someone either “broke through” the problem with advanced thinking and higher intelligence, or they “broke with” the thinking; they tried something totally different, lateral and creative and found a back-door solution to the problem! Only challenge provides this opportunity and it is how humanity has advanced.

Can you break through to succeed where others have failed the challenge?

It’s possible, but that doesn’t mean you always get your old life back. Sometimes, it’s not there to reclaim. You may overcome the challenge but you cannot unlearn the pain you endured. You will be a different person, even if your old life is offered to you again. It may not feel the same, because you are now changed, evolved. You’ll need to grow into your new life, even when you succeed and overcome the challenge!

“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.” ― Bernie S. Siegel

Where do you turn, when it is YOU facing the challenge?

The first thing to remember is that we are not alone in this. Maybe there is no saviour nearby, but that doesn’t mean help is not available. A quote from Einstein said “Man cannot solve the problems he created with the same level of intelligence with which he created them”. In other words, to solve a problem, access a higher level of wisdom, and to do that we need to find or become someone with more wisdom. Become smarter.

How can we become more intelligent when facing a challenge?

Specialised knowledge is required to solve a specific problem. Go to the source of wisdom in that area. Research, learn, outsmart your challenge.

Financial challenge – perhaps too much debt?

The local library has resources on debt and creditor control, but also resources on creating more income and cashflow. Life Change 90 presented the Financial Empowerment blog recently. It also has brilliant strategies on how you can become financially empowered by accessing higher financial wisdom and thinking.

Social challenge?

Personal development, working on your Self Confidence and Self Esteem can make a huge difference. There are simple and easy ways to improve these critical areas of your life, when you know how. These blogs HERE and HERE provide a pathway to tools, resources and education in those areas.

Health Challenge?

There are two parts to a health challenge: Firstly, finding the cure and recovering from your illness, if that is possible. Secondly, managing to live and function and have a quality of life while you face your health challenge.

Starting over in a new life
Image from amputee.com

Facing a health challenge can be debilitating. Whether it is pain, energy levels, tiredness, nausea, headache or more, when it is constant, it wears you down, slows thinking and numbs your feelings and emotions. It is relentless. The most positive person will face times of despair when it just seems too hard, too painful and just too much. We wrote about this in the Challenges Of Chronic Illness Blog. All the while you are feeling so miserable, you also face the medication, the hard work that you and your mind and your physical body must still do to actually look for and implement the cure and the healing process. It’s even harder if there is no recognised cure and symptom management is your only apparent option.

What does your particular challenge have in common with all other challenges?

There are a few aspects of facing a challenge that are common to each, and therefore have a way of being handled and managed. There are specifics which are unique to each individual challenge, and you will learn to handle these once you get the fundamentals down. Let’s look at the common aspects for strategies towards success.

Challenge Fundamentals

We all need goals!
Image from traducirco.com

First: Goalsetting. It is vital to the life of every person on the planet, but handled differently when facing a severe challenge. When life is easy, you can set huge goals and risk everything on them because you feel invincible. But that’s not now. Your goals need to be small, step by step goals that you might mark off in hours, or even minutes. The increments to your milestones might be tiny, but they are there. When you achieve them, you must celebrate like crazy! For a person learning to walk after losing their legs in an accident, running a marathon is not the goal; just standing up is the challenge. When you make it, celebrate! And when you take the first step again, celebrate that too! The marathon can come later; right now, let’s just take one more step! Keep your goals small enough to achieve realistically, without compromising other critical areas of your life. Celebrate each in your own way when you achieve them.

Second: Support. Who do you have around you? A team is important. Not necessarily friends because sometimes they try to not hurt your feelings, by not telling you the truth. Someone impartial. Maybe a coach? Your church minister? Someone who can be a mentor to you and honestly let you know how you are doing, by providing objectivity.

Third: A program. You MUST be organised. This challenge will wear you down unless you have a plan of attack for it, and you follow that plan. The plan needs to address your goals, and keep you up to working towards your goals every day. It needs to empower your motivation to keep you inspired, even through tough times. Affirmations and encouragement, inspirational education, new ways to look at obstacles, and challenges to broaden your thinking to find new solutions. It should make you think laterally, to give you a fresh perspective.

Fourth: Personal development and education. To rise above your challenge, you need to be more of you than you are now. Self education, self development, growth and evolution are required. Your program must provide a pathway to a new level of consciousness if it is to work for you.

Fifth: Encouragement. A platform and a process to recognise and celebrate learnings, lessons and achievements. When you have a win, it must be acknowledged. Every night, you need your program to register your activities and achievements so you can chart your production and progress.

Sixth: A Supportive Environment. Even if you are totally alone, you need an environment around you that is positive and uplifting, conducive to success and progress, even if much of it is internal to begin with; especially to begin with – the time of most challenge! This is when self-discipline and focus on goals is most critical, to enable you to build momentum towards your goals, to consolidate new habits where necessary, and to leave the old ones behind. Your program must create this environment around you.

To learn about and access such a program, CLICK HERE for the framework and the features you need to build in, and the benefits it will give you. Plug your life and your challenges into this program, to look at your world in a new light. The light at the end of the tunnel!

If you feel better able to handle your challenges after reading this post, please reblog it and share it around. You may be doing a friend or someone in your family the favour they have been secretly praying and crying out for!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment, to assist you with your specific challenge.

Empowered by Gratitude

Empowered by my Failures

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

For those people truly desiring change and empowerment, we have provided the Life Change 90 Program. Click here to learn more about Life Change 90.

A new lease on a new life!
Image from onlytoptens.com

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Prayer for change

Prayers count, no matter who prays!
Image from www.atotheword.com

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

A Prayer for Change

While looking at my blog today, I chanced upon a section of the dashboard I hadn’t noticed before. It showed the search terms people had used most to find my blog online. It shocked me to realise what it meant.

The two top terms were:

Prayer for change in my life
Empowered Person

If ever there was a cry for help, both these terms are screaming it from the rooftops! Prayer for change and seeking empowerment!

For two decades I have delivered life changing workshops and seminars all over my country on exactly these topics, and the cry has been the same:

“I expected more out of life than this, by now!”

I expected more out of life than this, by now!
Image from www.sott.net

I have heard it from teenagers, from young disillusioned couples, from parents with teenage kids, and from retirees, who were struggling still, after a lifetime of struggle. A #prayer for change, if ever there was one!

When we were in school, we were told, and probably you were too: “Study hard, get good grades, get a good job and have a good life!” Well, these people all followed those directions and by the time they came to my workshops, that is how they felt – ripped off! It was a lie, and they had fallen for it! And now, they have this prayer for change!

There’s nothing wrong with having a good education and getting a good job. However, that’s not it – that’s just the start! Your education continues and it’s a lifelong program you are enrolled in! The school of life is never on holidays – it always has something to teach you! The question is – are you ready, willing and able to learn?

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

For those people searching for a prayer for change, here is mine – click on this link for the whole blog:

Today, My Perfect Day

A day that I could begin by being of service to another, to start their day also with inspiration and love.

A day when I could plan and begin projects – dreams that could take all of my tomorrows to complete.

A day I would live as though it was my last, as though there would be no tomorrow.

A day when I would play the games I play to the limit,

To laugh as hard as I can,

To love as passionately as I am able,

To work and achieve to my capacity,

yet with time to rest and relax with my loved ones

until we are full of the love we have for one another.

A day when there is time to reflect,

To consider those whose fortunes have not yet been realised, as mine have,

To pray that they may be realised – soon.

A day which closes with a Prayer of Thanks to the Great Spirit and all the guides I have,

for watching over me through this day,

and to ask them to guide me through the next,

so that again someone might say:

“I’m glad that you came by!”

A pot of gold, after all?
Image from wordlesstech.com

For those searching for Empowerment, there is a whole series of empowerment blogs for you, everything from Financial Empowerment, to Empowerment for Men, Women, Children and Teens, and explanations on what Empowerment means and how to gain it! The full list is below.

Thank you for your searches, and thank you for looking to Life Change 90 and our program for the answers to your prayer for change, and for your personal empowerment, in whatever form you desire it. I hope we have helped you and you know that we will continue with our aims to empower many more people, in times to come.

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates. It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better! If that was that special person in your life, then congrats: you just changed your own life too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails, and I hope your prayer for change is answered!

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Make money while you sleep. Set up your income streams as businesses at which your presence is not required, fully automated, and the money will flow to you, wherever you are. Click this link for more details and alternatives!

Financial Empowerment

The financial jigsaw puzzle
Image from intentionalwealthinstitute.org

Update: Feedback is that this post on #Financial Empowerment is almost brutal. Sorry, but it has to be – people in financial crisis are often also in denial. I know – I was one of them! This blog is from my hard-earned and learned lessons in financial empowerment! I needed some ‘hard talking to’ in my time of crisis, and I don’t want you to go through what I experienced, because of my denial!

However, the post is not all bad news! If you recognise your symptoms below, you’ll be amazed at the reasons for why we do and feel what we do, and delighted with the range of options and solutions. The links take you to even more detail on the solutions available to everyone who needs financial empowerment.

Financial Empowerment

There is an elephant in the room. A great big ugly elephant. We talk about empowerment and self development and personal growth but when someone mentions ‘money’ or being wealthy, too often, thoughts or whispers of greed, selfishness, get rich quick, or some other such demeaning slur appear.

There is even that famous Bible quote:

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” (King James Bible).

However, any quote taken out of context can take on a whole new meaning, such as this one does!

So many people have hidden behind this and other poverty based quotes to make excuses for their lack of abundance, without even realising it. They believe these quotes and old sayings (“life wasn’t meant to be easy” is another!) are actually facts. THEY ARE NOT!

“Take responsibility for your finances or get used to taking orders for the rest of your life. You’re either a master of money or a slave to it. Your choice.” – Robert Kiyosaki

It’s time to say IT IS OK to have money and wealth. It’s NOT OK to be poor and just accept it!

It’s NOT OK to have to worry where the next dollar or the next rent or mortgage payment is coming from. It’s NOT OK to have your child’s next meal in doubt because you don’t have the money to put a meal in front of them.

Down on his luck, by Frederick McCubbin
Image from www.artroom.com.au

Why would you NOT have all the money and financial empowerment you need, or want?

There could be some absolutely valid reasons. Bad luck. Bad management of a situation. Bad start in life. Got robbed. Got divorced. Got taxed. All valid and perfectly good reasons to not have any money. If you are OK with reasons for not having money that is, rather than the money.

If this is you now, are you planning on staying this way?

If you are unhappy about your financial situation, read on – there is much to learn and much to look forward to!

Is it OK to be broke?

Most teenagers and students visit “Broke” during their high school or university years, just after leaving home. Possibly the best time to visit, when you are young and life has so much promise and you are so enthusiastic about it. You also don’t have family responsibilities then. Enjoy the experience of living on the financial edge, learn the financial empowerment lessons and then get the hell out of there! Life is better with a full wallet!

How does a lack of financial empowerment affect men and women differently?

In ancient times, men were the hunters, women were the nurturers. This imprinted in the DNA of the human race and reflects in their emotional states today, thousands of generations later. A man who could not hunt and provide for his family was shamed. Today, men feel humiliated to be without work and income. A woman in ancient times who could not nurture her family was considered of low worth and status. She had to take scraps or be married off to a low status male. Today, very little has changed! Jean M Auel’s excellent and very well researched books, starting with “Clan of the Cave Bear” demonstrate this perfectly!

Let’s look at what it means to be lacking in financial empowerment, for both men and women.

Financial Empowerment for women

A woman without money in the 21^st century in the western world is a woman who has to educate herself and develop a career to support herself, or to be supported by someone else. She must develop an income stream to pay for the necessities of life. If she cannot do this, she has to choose between doing without the necessities of life, or being at the mercy of someone who has them.

Perhaps she will find a husband, someone who will be delighted to take her just as she is, and who promises to support her forever. Lots of women have thought this; many have made wonderful lives being supportive wives for their loving husbands.

Since my divorce….!
Image from www.sincemydivorce.com

But many have found that after a time, their marriage and support program suddenly ended. Perhaps through tragedy, or for other reasons, sometimes divorce. Now, they are older, perhaps wiser, but many are still without an income and a way to pay to live. That doesn’t mean that a divorced woman cannot cope – just that sometimes, the divorce is financially devastating, and they are left with little money and a family to raise, and often on a solo parent benefit or part-time wages.

Financial empowerment for women is vital. Not just for the feeling of satisfaction, but for the independence it brings. Ladies, if you are financially independent, you can choose where and who you want to spend your life with, for reasons other than necessity and somewhere to live. An important goal.

Financial empowerment for men

Guys, there is probably nothing more disempowering than looking at your family, and knowing you cannot provide for them. Not being able to pay the mortgage or the rent, rationing the children’s food, losing the car to the finance company, all for the want of a better cashflow.

Super Dad!
Image from thewonderfulworldofnothing.blogspot.com

The other side of the coin is great! You feel invincible and powerful when you have financial empowerment. When you know that your financials are OK and that the house and car are paid for, and the family is secure, you feel king of the castle. So you should. Supporting and empowering your family is perhaps the greatest responsibility that most people could ever have.

Financial crisis happens, far too often. It happens to good people, to great people, and to most of the people who don’t understand money and financial empowerment. But there’s also a way through it.

The key to financial empowerment is education.

I don’t mean reading, writing and arithmetic, although they are important. Financial literacy education, understanding the financial empowerment principles that make the money world go round. They aren’t too hard to learn, though they can be harder to put into practice.

“No one lives long enough to learn everything they need to learn starting from scratch. To be successful, we absolutely, positively have to find people who have already paid the price to learn the things that we need to learn to achieve our goals.” – Brian Tracy

The world has changed since I was a boy. Fifty years have made a huge difference. A house now costs half a million dollars here, but fifty years ago, $2500 would have got you one. A car was $500, now it is $40,000. But wages were much less! Fifty years ago, it was 365 shillings per week, around $36. The princely sum of $1,800 per year. Now, in Australia, the average annual wage is $75,000. Prices have increased but so has our income.

What HAS changed is the opportunity level!

In this age of technology and information, a person no longer needs a factory or huge amounts of capital to start a profitable business. Many people work their own business from anywhere in the world they want, as long as they can connect a computer, laptop or even tablet to the internet! As long as they have a skill they can apply, a second or even a primary income is available for anyone, if you become educated in how to market something of value to the world!

There are businesses set up solely to market skills, such as Elance – working as contractors in a virtual world, with real people at either end. Computer technicians often repair your computer problems from their own office, working on your computer remotely. People with a little money can invest online and make a living as traders. You can set up a business, consulting, buying, selling, trading, creating, almost anything you want, as soon as you launch your own website and get your story online. There are even people making a good income writing blogs, just telling stories online. There are numerous ways to either supplement an income, or replace it, and there is no discrimination in the virtual world.

What is Residual Income?

Think about your wage. If you don’t go to work, you don’t get paid. No residual income. Think about the rent on a house. The owner could be in Spain, New York or Sydney. The rent still goes into their bank account. That is residual income.

Examples of residual income are:

Financial investments, shares, term deposits etc. You need a lot of money initially and the Return On Investment (ROI) is from 1% to 5% usually. $1,000,000 at 5% is $50,000 pa.
Investment property. In Australia, an investment property starts at around $350,000 and higher, and ROI is either negative (profits from tax benefits) or up to around 5% clear.
Leasing out equipment, rental cars, machinery etc. Lots of money initially but a higher ROI, because of a shorter working life of the equipment.
A second job? Doesn’t qualify, as there is no residual income. However, this is where most people look when they need more money.
A business with employees. If you can set it up so that it makes a profit while you are not there, yes, ongoing residual income. However, bricks and mortar businesses are struggling the world over. Many do not make a profit at all.

Can you make money online?

There is an alternative, made possible by the technological revolution and the internet. It is possible to start a small business online and set it up to operate globally, fully automated and delivering profits into your bank account, wherever you are. Many are very successful; the operators have replaced their regular income and quit jobs, to live on the ever-growing profits of their fully automated online businesses! Click this link for more details and alternatives!

Examples of online income streams:

Contracting your skills, such as through ELANCE, or being a virtual assistant
E-Bay trading, buying and selling items
Shares and options trading, taking a parcel of money and actively trading with it – be careful of the risks! Only for skilled traders!
Consulting and providing advice, for a fee
Website sales of an item, product or service, sometimes digital products or information
Using a website in conjunction with a bricks and mortar business for mail-order sales
Writing and publishing online
Networking of a business opportunity online, building up a global downline network

NOTE: 1-4 are usually not residual income streams although they are internet businesses.

Internet Business Opportunities!
Image from fortune500designs.com

These opportunities are there for everyone. If you have a skill or a product range, you can sell it online, anywhere in the world. If you see a networked business opportunity, you can have a global business almost overnight, with residual income coming in from all over the world. And you don’t have to leave your day job!

If you are also a member of Life Change 90, you can enjoy Personal Empowerment, as well as Financial Empowerment!

Think about this:

Are you earning what you are worth right now?

Are you earning what your family needs right now?

Are you earning enough to fund the dreams of your future, right now?

If not, what are you going to do about it, and when?

There ARE answers, and you can find them in the links here. I look forward to seeing you at the top, earning lots more than you are now!

If you feel this article has financially empowered you and you feel it could benefit the financial empowerment of other people, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates. It might be the day you changed someone’s financial fortunes and future for the better, not just your own!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Take action every day. It doesn’t have to be dramatic action, but every day, stick with it. Spend time on things that make you proud, that stretch and strengthen you.” – Phillip Humbert

Please also refer to my previous posts on Empowerment:

Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.
Daniel Goleman
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/d/daniel_goleman.html#R7x3cmosuxQpFFMd.99

Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Tip of the iceberg!
Image from www.soulseeds.com.

“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels”
― Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Many people have heard of the term “Emotional Intelligence”, made famous in a book by Daniel Goleman and now commonly called “EQ”. We were all made familiar with “IQ”, our intellectual intelligence quotient many years ago, when intelligence testing was considered the ultimate measure of a person. Fortunately, that has since been found to be a very small part of the story. It’s now recognised that a person’s “IQ” is not really as important as how the person is able to utilise their “IQ”. That level of utilisation is often a measure of their “EQ”.

Let me give you an example. I went to school with a really brainy guy. In my own high school up to Grade 10, I was considered reasonably intelligent and won class awards in some subjects. Alongside this guy, I was a dunce! We did a physics exam one day when I was in Grade 11 at College, and he got 65 questions right, out of a possible 66. HE WAS FURIOUS! The question he wasn’t marked correct on had a full stop missing! That’s all! But he wasn’t used to not getting everything right!

However, brilliant as he was in the science laboratory or the maths class, this is the guy who would walk out of the dormitory with his shoe laces untied, his shirt buttoned crookedly and was forever asking for someone to help him with his neck tie! In the world outside the laboratory, the poor guy was hopeless and helpless! I don’t know if he ever got a drivers licence, but I hope not….!

He had a very high IQ, but almost no EQ. And that is the difference.

EQ is the ability to relate to others, to communicate effectively and to empower others.

What is empowerment?

Empowerment is the ability to influence the environment around you for the benefit of all. #Empowerment through emotional intelligence is the way you utilise your communication skills, your ability to create rapport and empathy with people, to influence outcomes and the behaviours of other people.

Let’s face it: Personal empowerment only happens when you empower others. You cannot be empowered in isolation. The most powerful person on the planet is no more powerful than anyone else if they are sitting alone in a dinghy miles offshore. Put that same person in a room with other people and their empowerment becomes evident. Their influence is felt throughout the room. Even if their identity remains unknown, their effect on the people around them will be felt. That is empowerment. But your own empowerment only happens when people around you respond positively to your behaviour and treatment of them.

Empowered Couple
Image from www.essentialoilspedia.com.

You see the evidence of this in many places. A loving couple together may be a formidable team, a unit of considerable influence, power and passion. However, before their meeting and becoming a couple, either of them may have been described by their friends as lacking in confidence. Together, they empower each other.

A political leader can be a dictator and through absolute power wield much influence. However, the most loved leaders will often have more power and influence and especially the respect of their people, than the brutal dictator. As a fringe benefit, they also have more job security and in retirement will be welcome anywhere in the world.

Dictators from history – how many can you name?
Image from www.freemediaproductions.info.

An example of that would be to compare Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein or Muammar Gaddafi with Nelson Mandela. Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi were dictators, responsible over their long and brutal reigns for the deaths of thousands of people. Their armies kept them in power, but ultimately rebellions and civil wars cost them their leadership. They died as they lived. Nelson Mandela had the same struggle to begin with, perhaps even harder, but when he came to power, he was loved and respected by all, and empowered other people throughout his many years as president of his country of South Africa. When he retired, he remained the most respected elder statesman in the country. The respect for him was global, and even the Pope sought meetings with him. Other world leaders sought his counsel. When he passed away recently, the nation of South Africa was just one of the nations around the world mourning the passing of one of the greatest statesmen the world has ever been blessed with.

An empowered leader, Nelson Mandela
Image from au.lifestyle.yahoo.com.

The same happens with us on a personal level. We need to be empowering others, for us to become empowered people and leaders. Empowerment does not work in a vacuum, or in isolation. Our empowerment is measured by the degree of empowerment we give to those around us.

How do you gain empowerment through emotional intelligence?

The first part of this is understanding the power of our emotions, and the effect they have on our behaviour. Below is the Empowerment Tone Scale Chart. The range of human emotions is captured down the left side of the scale, from the lowest of emotions, apathy, to the highest, up above enthusiasm. It goes much higher, but those are states not relevant here.

Emotional Tone Scale.

The critical point on the scale is the red empowerment line, just above boredom. Below this point, a person is purely reacting to stimuli, but not operating rationally. That is not to say they are not capable of high level thinking and planning, but their thinking is not constructive. In some form or another, it is destructive. Above the line is where interest and constructive thinking begin, and win/win solutions and new concepts are possible.

A person in grief is way down on the scale. In this state, the person is more introspective, turned inward. To communicate with this person, we need to empathise with them, and find a way to reach their emotional state without entering into it ourselves. Then we need to raise them up to the level of the Empowerment Line, even if only briefly, to get them to apply rational thinking to their situation. That doesn’t mean they will stay there, nor should they. There is an established grieving process that people need to complete before they can move on with life. Empowering this person is entirely appropriate, but to try to keep that person, who is suffering with their grief, in an empowered, enthusiastic state for an extended period is denying them their grieving process and unrealistic.

Comfort through grief
Image from www.yourdictionary.com

To raise a grieving person up to an empowered level for a time, respectful questions that require processing are needed. Processing can only be done in an emotional state above the empowerment line. To answer the question, their mind needs to rise to the empowerment level. Gentle questions can do this, and will rouse the person from their grief and enable them to function more rationally.

However, if the person is angry, in emotional pain or hostile, their emotions are directed outward to inflict their pain and angst on the world, to retaliate. Much as a friendly dog will bite when cornered or in pain, the person’s behaviour is also a non-rational reaction to circumstances.

Again, gentle but firm questions that require processing will have a positive effect, although it may take a series of questions and the format is quite specific. Questions such as:

“How can we sort this out?”

“How can we change this around?”

“How can we fix this problem?”

This format aligns the person asking the question with the person feeling the pain or anger, where formerly, they felt alone. It also puts the source of their pain or anger or grief out as an issue independent of the person. It identifies it as a problem that can be solved with rational thinking. Thus the person is raised to the level of rational thinking and empowerment to deal with the issue that was formerly their millstone. This is empowerment through emotional intelligence – your use of your “EQ” can provide a powerful influence on anyone suffering from a lowered emotional state.

Once the emotional state begins to rise, when appropriate, offer the opportunity for some responsibility in and a share of the positive outcomes of the solutions. Offer the hope of brightness of the future, and show them that it is their responsibility to claim it.

How important is empowerment through emotional intelligence?

Look at the vertical blue arrow in the scale. That is the emotional region where most people live, and the majority of them are probably between boredom and hostility, tapering more towards the extremities. In other words, most people you meet will need to be empowered BEFORE you can relate with them! They will need a reason to think and to start a rational thought process before you can have a positive relationship with them, because that is not a normal state for them!

Can empowerment become a normal state?

Yes, absolutely, and empowerment through emotional intelligence is the pathway. It is a learned process, and once learned and the success behaviours and actions of empowerment are formed and become habits, empowerment becomes the normal way of life. And yes, anyone can do this.

Empowerment is not an event; it is a series of success strategies that are lived moment at a time, day by day. It is a way of life. You already have a way of life, a series of strategies that you live, moment at a time, day after day. If you want empowerment in your life, some of those strategies may need to be changed. And you can do it. CLick here to learn more about Empowering YOU!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood”
― Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Please also refer to my previous posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment is not hard. It’s simple, it’s strategic and it’s constant. Constant implementing of daily success habits, morning and evening, practicing throughout the day and celebrating your successes at night. It’s challenging yourself to be the best you can, and recording your efforts to be your best. It’s dropping unproductive habits and replacing them with success habits that step you closer to your own goals every day. It’s putting yourself in a state of mind that is empowered by the environment you create around you. It’s choosing the people you associate with, the information and influences that go into your mind and surround you in your life. One tiny step at a time, all the time. It’s simple, and it’s constant. Click here to learn more about becoming Empowered and learning to use your EQ, as well as your IQ!

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered Man
Image from theredlist.fr

“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
― Rich DeVos

What would an empowered man do?

It’s easy to preach. It’s easy to lecture. It’s harder to live what you preach and lecture about. It’s especially hard when Spirit or fate or the Gods on high decide to confront you with a problem straight out of the box you were preaching from!

The question is, when something like this happens, what would an empowered man do?

Now, an empowered man here refers to empowered women, children, teens, civic leaders, politicians, and anyone else you can think of. It’s all of us, and I’m lumping us together under the term ‘man’.

The guy (or girl) comes home, tired and well and truly over the day, it’s been a tough one. Their partner is frustrated as their day was tough too, the kids are noisy, but they just want to sit with a beer or wine and relax, let the day go and when they feel like it, come join the family. But the kids want to play, their partner wants a hand in the kitchen, stuff is happening all around and this is not a time when they can opt out for a while.

Home at last!
Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

What would an empowered man do?

The question really should come back to “what is important in this life?” and start from there. Attend to the first priorities and work outwards from there, once they have been attended to.

First priority? There’s their partner standing there, tired and very frustrated with their day also. This person committed to spend their life with them, and share the joys and hassles of their family forever. WOW! Number one priority?

#What would an empowered man do? He would kiss this lady, tell her he loved her and block the world out for a while. There’s a book called “The ten second kiss” that I have referred to in my seminars and it suggests that night and morning, and leaving for work and coming home from work is a powerful time for it, that you should kiss your spouse or partner for at least ten seconds. At least twice a day, at those important times.

Why? Because when you kiss someone for ten seconds with your full intention and attention on your kissing, it speaks volumes to them about your love for them, and it does them a world of good too. Things like easing tension, frustration and giving the feeling to them that they are loved and supported in every way. Sort of an antidote to a tiring and frustrating day.

What about the dinner on the stove? What about the kids? What about all the other distractions?

Take the pot off the heat – it’s only for 10 seconds! Get the kids to time you – this is a powerful way for them to see and experience what love between their parents is and should be. There is not much that cannot be put off for just ten seconds!

A great daily ritual
Image from karapearson.com

OK, that’s Priority 1 done. Priority 2 should be a hug for the kids. Big hug, acknowledgement for a moment, so they feel the love too, and it’s amazing how often that is enough for them for a time. Time to enable you to handle the other issues that are demanding attention. Perhaps you can be with the kids in a family way. Grab a coffee or tea, sit with your spouse and children on the couch for a few minutes, have a family hug, right after your ten second kiss. Take a few more minutes with all of you together, sharing your days. Ask your spouse about their day, their ups and downs. The same with the children, asking questions gets them present and takes their mind off concerns that drag energies down. That also allows you to catch up on the urgent news and to plan the next few minutes of dealing with the other issues, such as the dinner that’s cooking, the chores to be done, homework and so on.

What would an empowered man do? He’d first attend to his family and be nurtured by them, while he empowers them with his love and attention. He’d make this a daily ritual.

Another scenario. The empowered man (or woman) is at work and the boss yells at them, bawling them out over something, whether it’s valid or not. The boss is a chump, loud mouthed and obnoxious. The first reaction is to make a batch of ‘nose jam’ and spread it all over his face.

Not again!
Image from www.mccormicksys.com

What would an empowered man do?

First, is it OK to get angry? Yes, and it’s natural to get angry at times. The human body and most other species become angry if provoked. It’s what happens next that matters.

We established a few blogs back that you cannot win an argument. We learnt in another blog about how to empower people when they are angry or fearful, so that you can work with them rationally and come to a good resolution.

Empowerment Emotional Tone Scale

This image is the Empowerment Tone Scale.

(Click on this image to enlarge it!)

The angry person is down under the empowerment line. The fearful or grieving person is lower still, near the bottom. To relate with these people, you need to boost them and their emotional state up to the empowerment level at “interest”, near the top, even if only for a few seconds! You do that with targeted questions, relevant to the topic, but ones they need to process a little. That processing is the key to empowerment. This is because for the mind to process a question, it needs to be in a constructive state, not destructive. Asking a question raises the person’s emotional state. It empowers the person you are asking the question of.

Back to our angry boss. What would an empowered man do?

They would engage the boss with simple, relevant questions to establish the parameters of the situation. They would go on to ask about the specifics. Then they would ask the most powerful question framework “WHAT can WE do about THIS PROBLEM?” This establishes the conflict as an issue separate to either of them, but a problem they can solve as a team. A totally different scenario to when the boss walked in.

That’s better! All sorted now!
Image from www.act-now.ca

Does it work every time? Of course not. But it’s what an empowered person would do first, rather than inflame the issue with retaliation.

Of course, launching into strategies such as these without a reference point in place is going to be a challenge. For some men, if they arrived home and without warning, took their wife and kissed her solidly for more than a few seconds, it would either frighten them or make them very suspicious. After reading this blog, discuss it with your partner and adopt this practice of the ten second kiss morning and evening. Make the family hug a ritual. You’ll probably find it changes other areas of your life too.

With your boss, don’t wait until he’s furious before you try to empower him. Use simple but relevant questions all the time to build his level of empowerment and you’ll find he is much less likely to explode if and when something does go wrong. And at that time, he’ll respond better when you ask more questions, because you have conditioned the situation already. It won’t be anything new!

What would an empowered man do, to become more empowered in the first place?

How do you get to BE this way, without needing to re-read this blog when life serves you a rotten tomato?

After a while, it becomes a habit and is the state of mind you unconsciously life in.

During the learning process, we pass through four stages of competency. They are:

Unconsciously incompetent – we don’t even know we are messing things up!
Consciously incompetent – we know how bad we are at this new thing.
Consciously competent – we know what to do but still need to focus to get it right.
Unconsciously competent – it’s become a good, solid habit; no need to even think about it anymore; we do it unconsciously and get it right every time!

After a while, these new success habits that we practice daily, morning and evening, become a part of our subconscious program and we do them without thinking. We LIVE them.

Words of a wise and empowered man
Image from wolflaguerra.wordpress.com

What would an empowered man do? Subscribe to this program and share it amongst his family, friends and workmates, to empower them too…

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”
― Bill Moyers

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

That is personal empowerment. A program with all of this exists now for you to slip into your daily routine; you can get it here. A few minutes morning and evening and it is done.

Personal Empowerment – starting young!
Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

Personal Empowerment.

You are responsible for your life. So why expect something to happen for motivation. Self motivation is biggest drive for self empowerment. Anil Sinha

I recently sat with a man who had asked me to write his biography, his journey from weighing 350 pounds (160 kilograms) back to 200 pounds (90 kg). After he told me his story, I had a question for him. First, here is his story, briefly.

He had told me that as he grew fatter, just from being a glutton and careless, he grew too big to do his ceiling insulation batt business – he couldn’t fit through the manholes into the ceiling cavity, so he sold that business and bought a security patrol business. Then he couldn’t get in and out of the patrol cars because of his rapidly expanding girth, so he sold that business too. Eventually he began selling real estate in a city office because all he had to do was stand (or sit) near the front door where people would walk by, and he could talk to them.

Something wrong with this picture
Image from nypost.com

However, the life changing chain of events for him began with the bicycle shop next door. Sometimes he’d stand at his front door and chat to the owner of the bicycle shop, a former triathlete champion, and one day he asked him if he could try riding a bike, as he thought he might like to lose some weight. Just making conversation. The reply was that he didn’t stock a bike that would hold his weight!

Then he needed to run to the back of his shop again to the toilet, for the fifth time that hour, and the bicycle shop owner told him he needed to get ‘that’ checked out. He already knew what his problem was. The doctor told him after a few short minutes “You have chronic diabetes caused by your eating habits. If you don’t lose 100 pounds this year, you won’t see next year!” It scared him; he said those words felt like machine gun fire into his chest!

My question to him was: “If that doctor had not threatened you with your own death, at what point would you have decided you were overweight and needed to do something about it?”

His answer? “I don’t know. I never considered it! I don’t know what it would have taken to have that amount of personal empowerment, to recognise my problem and deal with it!”

Personal empowerment is not a big deal.

A whale of a time!
Image from selfimprovementdevelopment.com

My definition for #personal empowerment is the willingness to honestly see yourself as you are, and to commit to making any changes you feel are necessary for your wellbeing, on any level, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.

That just means that if you know you are not fit, you decide to change that and you do what you need to do, to become more fit. If you have bad breath, you brush your teeth. If someone tells you that your breath is bad, you don’t abuse them for being rude to you; you thank them for being honest with you and then you brush your teeth.

Being less than you can be, less than your human potential is a crime against yourself. That doesn’t mean that you need to be training to be fit enough to run the next marathon. It doesn’t mean you need to immediately begin to diet, or take any other radical steps. It has nothing to do with vanity, and everything to do with your personal pride. Look honestly at yourself. Ask yourself if you are the person you always wanted to be. If you can see how you can become closer to that ideal, then you need the strength to commit to making the changes that will get you there.

OK, I hear some howls of protest! Personal empowerment? I’m suffering from a chronic illness, I can’t do that! I was in a car accident and my injuries won’t allow that! I am overweight because I have a medical condition and the drugs affect me!

Relax. The question is; are you being all you can be? If you are ill, then you are ill and that will place limitations on you physically. But how is your heart? How is your spirit? How is your mind?

Personal empowerment will take you from where you are in your life, to where you could be. It’s not about being fitter, faster, smarter or better than anyone else, just being the best YOU that you could be. Sometimes, personal empowerment is just being the best parent you can be, so that you can be an empowered parent for your children. What this world needs probably most of all, is empowered people, who can be empowered parents, so that the next generation who are our children now can take over this world and continue to make it better and fix the mistakes we have made in getting it to them.

Personal empowerment is worth it.

But how do you get personal empowerment?

It’s the little things that count!
Image from mylifeismymessage.org

It’s easy. Baby steps each day. It’s not a massive shift, it’s just a few little success habits to get into each day, and then continue to do them every day! Not hard at all. You already have a number of habits right now, perhaps some that don’t serve you that you could replace, others that you definitely want to maintain. Like brushing your teeth. But add some affirmations and goalsetting to that. Perhaps doing a few minutes reading of something positive each morning and evening – just a few minutes. Perhaps setting priorities for your day, specific things that will actually advance you a little closer to your goals. Perhaps at the end of the day, doing a review and seeing what you achieved, what you learned, what you felt, and checking off what you actually did. If you started a new habit, check off that you did it, or didn’t – make yourself accountable.

Get into success habits. Start feeling a sense of achievement for the little things, so that when the big things come up and real personal empowerment is needed to face those challenges, you have already been practising, you have the success habits in place, all you are doing is changing the goal……! See? Simple.

The bonus is that it teaches you lots of other cool strategies as well, such as communication skills, financial success tips, stress management and health tips, mental strategies, conflict resolution, goal setting and a whole heap more over the 90 days of the program. That’s the few minutes of positive and empowered reading material, a couple of hundred words a day to get you on track with life changing strategies in every area of your life. Personal empowerment was never so easy! Start your personal empowerment program now! Click here to begin!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Be ambitious towards your own personal enhancement. Steve Mariboli

Please also refer to other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment for our children is directly proportional to the amount of personal empowerment we, as adult parents have. When WE are empowered, we can empower others, especially our children. Personal development and empowerment work for us is how we can best empower our children, and lead by example on their march into their teens and adulthood. Click HERE to become a more Empowered Parent now!

Empowerment for Children

Happy, learning children
Image from www.cumc.com

Empowerment for Children

In Empowerment for Teens, we saw that the way children are raised has a huge effect on their behaviour as teens and then young adults. This is found in the most basic of human instincts, the instinct of survival, one of the few a baby is born with, and is very relevant in #Empowerment for Children

To survive, a human being is programmed to do whatever it must. As a baby has little conscious thought capability at birth, everything is trial, error and instinct. Babies rely on mothers for feeding, nurturing, protection and survival. Therefore keeping mother close is a survival instinct. To do this, some babies cry, some laugh, some are cute and coy, some are funny little clowns. All are survival strategies initially; the range of survival strategies expands as the baby grows.

A toddler cry baby doesn’t get much sympathy. However, the baby can learn that a certain laugh, or a certain funny behaviour can get mother’s attention, so that becomes a strategy. This might be the start of the ‘clown’ survival strategy. Robin Williams claims this was his way of surviving school, where the bigger boys bullied him until he told jokes! Now, it is his career!

With most young animals in a nest, if there is competition for food, the bully always wins. The same with human babies – the instinct is to get in first and get the food to survive. A bigger or more boisterous baby may become a bully as a survival strategy amongst smaller siblings. A smaller one may realise that direct action against a bully would not work, but being sneaky and agile might – monkey like antics might become the survival strategy, or outright stealth, guile and theft. Just as a survival strategy.

Feeding time – who’s going to get it?
Image from commons.wikimedia.org

However, we see these same strategies employed in adults! This is because these survival strategies become embedded as “sub-personalities” in the mind and psyche of the child and remain embedded as the child grows up. At one time they were all relevant as survival strategies; now, as adults many are redundant, but they remain.

Can we be sure of that? Are sub-personalities real?

Think of a young mother in an ordinary day and how many sub-personalities she operates with, just to make it through the day, from leaving bed in the morning, to bedtime at night.

Waking, she becomes a mother first, looking after the immediate needs of her children, feeding, clothing and getting them ready for school. Then she becomes a taxi-driver to deliver them to school. Then it’s onto the freeway in the car to drive to work, she’s a racing driver. At work she becomes a dutiful employee, slightly subservient to her supervisor, but definitely superior to that jerk from the mail sorting room who tried to hit on her last week! Hmmph! Then she suddenly becomes mother again at lunch time with a call from the school that one of the children has fallen and scraped a knee, but it’s OK, the school nurse has bandaged it and it will be fine. A text message from her husband, saying he’s thinking about her and how wonderful it was to cuddle up naked under the sheets last night. She started reading the messages as a loving wife, but by the end of it, a nymph had emerged. She looks up from the message and sees the other office workers looking at her and she becomes a blushing teenager! Back to work and she becomes the dutiful employee again. Time to go home and she enters rush hour traffic and she becomes the road rage Mama for half an hour. Home at last, she becomes mother again. Husband arrives home and she becomes wife for a moment as he kisses her, and then mother again as she prepares dinner and scolds the children for the noise they are making. After dinner she becomes a school teacher while helping with homework. Bedtime for the kids, she becomes a wife again and sits quietly with husband discussing the day. Bedtime for her, she showers and slips into bed and the text message nymph of earlier in the day appears and for the next hour, she is none of the previous sub-personalities from throughout the day!

Herman’s Head Sub-Personalities
Image from www.sitcomsonline.com

Whew! All those different sub-personalities and all appropriate at different times of the day, with different people, and different situations. Definitely not appropriate to mix them up and when that does happen, disaster is not far away!

How are sub-personalities relevant to empowerment for children?

The baby we first looked at is developing sub-personalities as it grows older, in order to survive. The empowered child, the well balanced and happy child will confidently move between sub-personalities almost unconsciously, provided we create and foster a supportive environment around them, making it safe for them to grow, explore and experience the world.

How do we make empowerment for children possible?

As parents, it is our responsibility to create the most supportive environment for our children to grow up in. The best way to do that is for us to be fully empowered personally first – being the best parents and teachers we can be, for them to model as they grow. Empowerment for Children comes after their parents learn empowerment for women and empowerment for men!

Children do not do as they are taught. Children do as they are shown by example and that is why they model older children, rather than anonymous characters from text books! As parents, we need to demonstrate what we want children to learn, and provide the environment where this learning is possible!

Enlightened educationalists will tell us that children learn best in a happy environment where they can experience what they are learning about. Experiential learning has become a buzz word but really, children have been doing it for thousands of generations, learning through their childhood games. We need to ensure those childhood games are possible, safe and that we can participate in them to the extent we need to, so that we can give guidance as and when the children need it.

Learning by playing
Image from lindaoconnell.blogspot.com

The best way for empowerment for children to be experienced is by parents reading to children. If you have ever seen the rapt look on a child’s face as they explore a picture book with Mummy or Daddy, and the innocent questions that come from it, you will understand. As the child grows, reading more mature story books opens the child’s mind to the wider world. I remember my Dad reading “Treasure Island” to me, and another of our favourites, “Two years on Bardunyah Station”, an Australian outback cattle station where everything was larger than life. Stories such as these allowed us to create magical images of what lay beyond and enthused us with the desire to get out and explore the world, to discover our own Treasure Islands and feel the vastness of the wide outdoors. We were fortunate that we had empowered parents who understood this.

Reading to your child is empowering for them
edu101.hubpages.com

When the children do get outdoors, be there with them! Children’s school sports days are a great place for them to show off to Mum and Dad, if they are sporting by nature. Music recitals or dance classes are other great ways to participate in your children’s activities if they have come to love the arts. Whether or not they are the best doesn’t matter, as long as you demonstrate your involvement, and show encouragement for their efforts!

School sports day
www.chengelo.sch.zm

Is it OK for a child to fail?

Empowerment for Children can only happen when the child learns to fall over and stand up to try again! So many are nursed through childhood that when they reach teens and Mum and Dad can’t keep an eye on them every waking moment, that the first obstacle they come across flummoxes them! They need to learn from setbacks; learn to power on despite them and because of them, learning from the mistakes and picking up the lessons! Only in this way do they become ‘battle hardened’ for the sometimes hostile environments they will face as teens and young adults.

Ooops! Here comes a lesson!
Image from liketreesplanted.com

However, of critical importance is where Mummy and Daddy are when they fall, and how THEY react to their child’s failures! Empowerment for children happens when they learn from parents that it’s not the failure that matters, it’s getting the lesson and starting over that is important! If parents are critical of poor school results, poor sporting results or music recitals, then the child learns that it’s a hard world and their parents are just another part of it. If instead Parents are there to encourage and teach success habits, they learn that mistakes and failings are only stepping stones to success! They learn what we demonstrate!

This is important in another way too, because as parents we fail sometimes too, and our children know it! They recognise in us the mistakes we make, and if we judge them harshly for their mistakes, that is what they have learned to do with us. They become the most critical and unforgiving teenagers unless they learn the truth about mistakes – they are just part of the lifelong education system we are all enrolled in!

If you feel this post has contributed to empowerment for children, please share and reblog amongst your friends and associates. So many parents are crying out for empowerment for children, but don’t realise that it is within reach. Your sharing may change the life of another – everyone deserves personal empowerment and this could be the day you make a difference!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment: