Tag Archives: bad habits

Old Habits Die Hard

#old habits die hrd

Intense conditioning and programming of habits under way!
Image from git-security.com

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
― Samuel Johnson

Old Habits Die Hard!

Norm was fresh out of the army.  For six years, it had been the ‘spit and polish’ routine, and “Yes Sir, No Sir” had been the way of life.  Now, all that was finished, Norm was back home for a while.  It felt good, having the chance to break away from all the routines and settle into the easier going life on the farm for a change.  Well, that was the intention. Old habits die hard!

The first day back, and his father decided to bring in a load of firewood.  While Norm and the other boys polished off breakfast, Dad put the chainsaws on the truck, along with a few crow bars and axes.

Breakfast over, the boys trooped out.  Suddenly Norm called out, “Hang on a minute,” and darted back into the house.  About a minute later, he reappeared, with a silly grin on his face.

“I don’t have to polish my boots for you bunch.” He said.  “Let’s go!”

#Old habits die hard!

“Some rules are nothing but old habits that people are afraid to change.”
― Therese Anne Fowler, Souvenir

We all have conditioning drilled into us.  Conditioning is habit – we all have habits and have had for many, many years.  Our lives run by habit and that’s generally OK.  Takes a lot of pressure off remembering what to do, like breathe, walk and so on.  Subconscious programs are developed when we learn and develop habits.  We may not even realise they are running, while they take control of our lives.  Maybe we’d like to change them, but old habits die hard.

#old habits die hard

A habit to change?
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Not all conditioning or habits are good, and some may need to be changed as we outgrow them.  We do outgrow habits and their subconscious programs.

Habits and subconscious programs are like railroad tracks.  Hard to get off, once you get onto those rails.

#old habits die hard

A program in motion
Image from wikipedia.org

Programs can fail or go wrong, without us realising until it has happened.  That’s when trouble hits and we find the program no longer serves us.

#Old habits die hard

Can someone please explain this to me?
Image from gizmodo.com.au

Getting off tracks and out of habits and programs can be a challenge.  Old habits die hard!

#old habits die hard

A bit of a challenge changing tracks the hard way.
Image from ptarm.tumblr.com

However, done correctly, changing an unwanted habit or program can be easy!

#old habits die hard

Changing habits should be this easy!
Image from leungkm.blogspot.com

You just need to install a new program.  Not all old habits die hard, after all!

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Ryun

My Darling wife bought a new computer today.  A beautiful object, a work of art.  However, it’s useless.  It has no programs installed.  YET.  The program is in the box, ready to download.  Then, the computer will be ready to do the most amazing things for her.  With the new program installed.  Doing what SHE wants it to do.

#old habits die hard

Isn’t it lovely?
Image from zdnet.com

This is also how to change a habit you no longer want, a habit that is running as a subconscious program in your life.  Insert a different program into your computer.  Change your program!

#old habits die hard

One new program/habit coming up!
Image from www.mln.com.au

Yes, it can be done.  There is a program specifically designed to enable you to change habits, simply, quickly and without getting yourself off track and into trouble.  Creating a controlled environment around you, supportive, encouraging, and one that celebrates your successes and supports you into new habits and conscious programming of your mind and your life.  Old habits die hard, but only when you don’t know how to change them properly!

Click here to find out more about changing habits, and learning new ones that can make life so much better for you, in any way you desire.  And kick that old, unwanted habit to the kerb!

“A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit.”
― Desiderius Erasmus

If you found this post to be empowering, and supports you into changing old programs and unwanted habits, please share it with your friends and associates.  Reblog it so that other people can gain these benefits too.  They will be grateful you did.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

 “Warren Buffett chuckled and said to me “I hope it’s not my bad habits”. Good Habits once established are just as hard to break as bad habits, and bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow. So what are you going to do about it?”
― Lucas Remmerswaal, 13 Habits.com the Tale of Tortoise Buffett and Trader Hare

#old habits die hard

What a great New Habit!
Image from thingstodococoabeach.com

How to win an argument

How to win an argument

“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still!”  Benjamin Franklin

#How to win an argument

You really want to win this argument?
Courtesy of www.theguardian.com

How to win an argument?

YOU CAN’T!

What happens when you beat someone down into agreeing with you, just for the sake of stopping the argument?

Losers don’t get mad, they get even!  That’s right; you just make enemies for the future!

So, #how to win an argument, really?

You must understand what goes on in someone’s mind while they are having an argument, or when they are angry or upset or afraid, and learn to work with it, harness their emotional state, so they can be better people and work through the issue.  Only then, do you learn how to win an argument.  And it’s not by winning the argument!

What DOES go on in someone’s mind while they are angry?

To understand this, you need to understand a little basic psychology – it will only take about a minute.

When someone is angry, fearful, upset, sad, depressed, terrified or even just bored, their mind is not in a state where rational thought is possible for them.  All they can do is react to stimuli.  That’s right, like an animal!  They are operating from the reactionary part of their mind, the old animal part, the part that was there when we were a species living in caves, frightened of the dark and sabre toothed tigers.  We HAD to react, to survive.  In effect, this part of the brain is survival territory, where the only instincts are fight, or flight!

How is this valuable, when all you want to know is how to win an argument?

#How to win an argument

blub, blub, blub…
Courtesy of www.stthomasblog.com

If you picture someone who is in one of these states, imagine that they are underwater.  You have to raise them up, so they can breathe, hear your question and respond.  Underwater, all they can do is thrash about, trying to survive.

How do you raise the mind up from those depths?

Ask it a question.  It really IS that simple.

Not any question.  “How’s the weather down there?” might not get the right response.

But if you are arguing with someone, or they want to argue with you, here’s a question that will work:

“HOW can WE sort THIS out?”

There is a VERY specific structure to this question.

An argument has two sides, both adversarial, against each other.  “You did it!”  “I did not!”  And never the twain shall meet, because they are both down in that animal survival instinct area.

But when you ask “HOW can WE sort THIS out?” you have triggered something that the mind is programmed to respond to.  The first part is WE.

#How to win an argument

WE are sorting THIS out!
Image from www.last.fm

Rather than adversarial combatants, you have just grouped yourself with them on a team of two, against THIS, the subject of the argument.  You introduced a third-party to the discussion, and put yourself on-side with them, against this third-party.  That third-party, the issue, is now a problem you work on solving, together!

And you asked a processing question, HOW.  The mind cannot process while down in those depths, so it comes up – sometimes only for a moment, but it comes up to process, into a state of mind where it IS rational, where it CAN respond intelligently, and think about a genuine answer to your question.  However fleeting, you got their mind up to where it can process.

What is THIS part of the mind?

This is where the emotions of interest, exploring, asking, and leading up to enthusiasm, happiness and bliss are found.  This is where people get enjoyment out of creating, communicating, playing, enjoying doing things.  And the lower levels of this, around interest and asking, is where you raised the level of their state of mind to by asking a question.

It may almost immediately seem to sink into the depths again.  Be encouraged that you got it to move the first time.  Try again.  Ask “WHAT can WE do to fix THIS up?”  And again:  “HOW can WE resolve THIS ISSUE?”

Their mind is now processing all those questions, the more you ask them, up to a point of course, the more they need to process them.  However, the mind can’t be in two places at once.  It can’t remain angry about THIS ISSUE while processing questions about it, and their anger will subside enough for a rational, if still heated discussion to take place.

Key point 1:  How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to raise the emotional tone of the person’s mind so that you can communicate with them, rather than just get reactions from them.  Do this by asking HOW, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN to get them processing.

#How to win an argument

All in this together!
Image from suvendubabu.blogspot.com

Key point 2:  How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to work with the other person to resolve an issue.  When you put WE into your question, you join forces with them.

Key point 3:  How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to stop being the focus of their anger, and put the focus on the issue!  Play the issue, not the person.  Make the issue the protagonist, to recipient of their energy, not you.

Where to from here?

If you learn to use this language pattern in your everyday communications, you will have many fewer arguments.  #How to win an argument will no longer be an issue – this is a negotiation technique superior to anything else out there, because it prevents the argument happening!  When you find a discussion descending into those depths, your adept use of questions will quickly bring it back up and resolve the issue, whilst you maintain your relationship…

Think back – how many times would this have solved a problem, or prevented an argument for you?

To learn this way of thinking, and to create your own supportive environment around you to encourage this to become your natural language, it’s worth looking at a structured program to assist you to develop it.  Check out this blog.

Or check out the Life Changing program here.

If you know other people who want to know how to win an argument, or who you feel would find this post valuable, please reblog it or share it with them.  Let’s add some more value to this world!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” ― Albert Einstein

Why systemize personal development?

Why systemize personal development?

“The system has already anticipated the freedom seeking mechanism in humans.”
― Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason

Imagine for a moment that you were going into a department store.  You knew the store took up a whole city block, because it was the only building on the block.  You could see that it was ten stories high, looking up from the street.  It had a single door in from the street and the only signage was “We are open 1 hour each day”.  You look inside the door, and the store looked like everything had been dumped in from the ceiling, boxes and bags and loose items were scattered everywhere, randomly.  How daunting is this shopping experience going to be?

#Personal Development

Untidy department store
image from esterknows.com

However, over the street is another department store, with all the same items for sale.  Same size store, also ten stories high.  The difference is that this store has a wide front door, with a huge directory board right at the door, with a sign that read “OPEN 24 hours”.  Next to it stood a smiling doorman who greeted you cheerily, and asked if he could direct you to what you needed to purchase, or if he could help you decide what you needed.

#Personal Development

Amazing department store
image from victorthevampirekitty.blogspot.com

Which store would you like to shop at?

Me too – the one with the great system!

It’s a lot like life really.  We didn’t get a map of the universe of personal development when we arrived on earth.  We know somehow that it’s all out there available to us, but where do you start?  How do you know what you need?  That’s why a system is important.

There are some stages in changing your life from what it is now, to what you’d rather it was like, and the stages start very close to home.  Today, you and I are the product of everything we have done in all the years of our lives right up to this moment in time – we are the end result of all of our efforts.

How many years did it take for us to get like this?  It’s OK, only you need to know that.  But we need to realise that it’s taken a number of years to get us this way, and we will need a little time to change the programs that got us here, to get them to take us to somewhere else more desirable.  It starts in our minds.  The most amazing computer program on the planet is inside our heads and we need to slip a new disc into it, so that it creates a different personal development outcome for us.

#Personal Development

Our amazing onboard computer
image from jonlieffmd.com

The good news is that it doesn’t take long.  But it does take a little time and the old ways will cling onto you, as habits.  Some work will be necessary, but this is where the value and power of a great system kicks in!

Imagine now that each morning, you took 10 minutes to put the new disc into your onboard computer, set up your day with it, and then went about your daily business with the new personal development program running.

Imagine that in the evening, possibly after dinner and after your day is complete, except for some quality time with your loved ones, perhaps watching a moving, talking, reading or sharing some special time, image that before you settled into this beautiful space for the evening, that you took another 10 or 15 minutes and downloaded the results of your new personal development computer program from this day, and saved them into your laptop or tablet at home.

Imagine that this was all it took to change your life from what you have now, that you want to change, into what you wanted it to be, as soon as possible in the future.

Congratulations, you have just imagined working with Life Change 90!

Life Change 90 is a 90 day program, a self-development system that is designed to work with your habits and activities over 90 days, 3 months, and enable you to change your life from what it has been to what you desire.  A few minutes morning and evening to program your day and download the outcomes, showing you every day, the successes you have had in changing your life with this new systemized personal development program.

Along the way, you will discover what has been limiting you, distracting you and taking you away from what you truly desire.  It will show you better ways, and guide you around the department store of life to exactly what you need to make those life changes, and the system will lock them in place for you.

Interested? Click HERE to learn more, and start now!

Or are you still standing in front of that little door in the big, messed up department store, hoping to find something the hard way?

To learn more about Life Change 90, check the link below, and explore this website.  Ask questions in the FAQ section.  Be amazed.  That’s what life is about.

If you found this blog post to be of value, please share it with your friends and reblog it.  At some time through the life of every person, they wish for a Life Change.  This could be that change and that time.  Let’s make the world a better place!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

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