Tag Archives: #personal development

To Be Loved

TO BE LOVED

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”
― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

#To be loved is the stuff of the ages, the poets of old and the stories they told.

#To be loved

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To be loved by a puppy is cute, then they grow into those mischievous brutes

#To be loved

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To be loved by a child is a joy to cherish, til they hit teens and then they vanish

#To be loved

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To be loved by an audience is great for the ego, but they go home at the end of the show

#To be loved

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To be loved by a nation, as president or dictator, an election or uprising and it’s “see you later!”

#To be loved

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To be loved by a fiancée is sweet and delicious, to make it to the altar is so very precious

#To be loved

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To be loved by your spouse years down the track, is a feeling to cherish to eternity and back

 

#To be loved

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I am so blessed.  I have known most of these – although I’m not aiming for president, but I can now honestly say that I am blessed to know that the lady I fell in love with and am now even more in love with, is still greatly enamoured with me.  She has known me for some years now, knows my considerable flaws, knows that at times I drive her nuts, I forget things, I probably keep her awake at night with my snoring, if not because of the worrying she does over the strife I get into, and yet, she loves me.

“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

How powerful and motivating is it to be loved?

The search for love through the ages has inspired acts ranging from incredible heroism to just as incredible acts of stupidity.  However, the desire to be loved the way I am loved is inspirational, motivational and incredibly empowering.  It is the true magic of the universe – of all the billions of people on this planet, I found the one with whom together forever is our reality.

There are many ways people can desire to be loved.  The flirtatious and frivolous one night stands or casual flings.  Sure, they may be fun for a time, but it’s like eating a packet of potato crisps – almost straight away, you feel hungry for something else.  Compared to a proper meal, there is no satisfaction, no comparison – it’s just an appetizer.

Another way to be loved is to have control over another, to demand their love and affection.  But demanding or commanding a person to love you denies them the opportunity to choose to love you and to express and to give love from the depths of their heart.  How could you know if this was what they felt, or only what you demanded?  It’s an ego trip by a heart very lacking in confidence and self-esteem, scared to take a chance on love when it is easier and safer to extort it.

A very popular way to be loved is to allow yourself to be a toy for others, to be subservient to their wishes.  But how would you know if they loved you, or were merely using you as a convenience?  Where is your security?  When they finish with you, what then?

To be loved by someone needy is scary.  Once their needs are fulfilled, what then?  Or will they ever be fulfilled?  And is it love for you, or fear from them that keeps them close?  There is no long-term tenure or happiness there either!

To be loved by someone freely, someone who knows all about you and still chooses to love you, chooses to be with you and commit to you totally, regardless of the consequences, trusting that as a team you can face the future together, that is the love to desire, when you desire to be loved.  This is the stuff of ages, known by the poets of old through the stories they told.

If this is not what you have in your life, sure, learn the tricks, learn what to say, read the books, get a puppy, but above all, become worthy of the love of the person you would desire to be loved by.  Do your bit.  Look in the mirror at your heart and soul.  Is what you see what you would expect the love of your life to become excited over?  Are you excited about you?

The first step is to fall in love with yourself – like who you are and be proud of what you have to offer.  Become attractive on the inside and let it overflow to the world around you.  People notice.  People will want to be near you, not necessarily to fall in love with you, but because it’s a great feeling for them, like a warm fire on a cold evening.  And somewhere amongst those people you may find the connection to the one you desire to be loved by.

When they arrive – be worthy of them.  Prepare for them.  Make it worth their journey, the journey they took, to be loved by the person they seek too.

Remember, they are just like you, another person, feeling alone, seeking to be loved by someone to love them down through the ages too.  Treat them as you wish to be loved.

My wish for you is to feel the blessing that I feel each morning as I wake to greet my day, my life and my wife, and again each evening as I give thanks for the day I have had, and say “Goodnight” to the one I so love to wake up with each morning!

If you feel this has been valuable to you, please share or reblog it for others to enjoy and gain from also.  Everyone deserves to be loved!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

 

Commitment Phobia

#Commitment Phobia

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“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” Vince Lombardi

What is Commitment Phobia?

You know THAT GOAL you set?  Yes, that one.  How serious are you about it?  How committed are you?

Pretty serious?  Fairly committed?  Really serious?  Fair dinkum?  Really….?

OK, no more stories – give me a number.

On a scale of 1-100, how committed are you to achieving THAT GOAL?

No reasons, no stories.  Just give me the number.

Is your number 100?

Congratulations, you ARE totally committed!

Is it less than 100?  If so, why bother with that goal?

Do you have what is called Commitment Phobia?

“If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?”  Harvey Fierstein

If your car broke down on the side of the road and someone stopped and offered to help, but you said, “OK, but can I finish this carton of beer first?” what do you think their response would be?

Something like:  “Well, if you are not serious about getting home, then I see no reason to put myself out to help you!”

It’s a bit like that with goalsetting, the Universe, and the “Laws of Attraction”…

The guy kneeled beside his bed and prayed:  “Lord, please help me to win the lottery”.  He prayed for hours, night after night.

After a while, God must have become frustrated with him…  The loud voice boomed:

“At least you could help me to help you.  How about buying a ticket?”

Are you giving yourself EVERY chance to win, to succeed at your goalsetting?  Or are you asking your God, Angels, Guides or whoever you pray to, to do all the work for you?  It doesn’t work that way.  You have to at least have the ticket, to play the game and have a chance of winning!  Spectators don’t win games, only the players in the arena get to stand on the podium!

#Commitment Phobia

Let me think about this a bit more!
Courtesy of www.inspirationalexaminer.com

Commitment Phobia is a funny term.  It is often used to refer to guys who want to ‘play the field’ and not tie themselves down to any one lady.  (Trust me guys, when you get it right, commitment to THE lady is INCREDIBLE!)

However, commitment is a vital part of life, and anything less than total commitment to the task at hand can get us into a lot of trouble!

As a child, I worked with my Dad on our farm.  One day we were using a large steel rope to drag logs around.  Dad’s words were profound and powerful to me as a 9 year old.  I still find they apply every single day!  He said:

“Get a good, strong grip on that rope, like you were going to choke it!  If you don’t give it everything, it will twist out of your hands and hurt you!”

WOW!  How often has THAT happened?  The wire rope could have been that incredible person you met, who you let slip by because you didn’t call them back, or you didn’t think you were good enough….  It could be that job opportunity that went begging because you didn’t get your application in on time because of the weekend BBQ, or you were late to the interview.  Perhaps it was the great job you lost, because you got lazy in it and someone passed you by on the corporate ladder.  Ouch, every time!

How committed were you to all these things, or did you have a form of #commitment phobia standing in your way.  Did you get complacent?  Did you let self-doubt give you commitment phobia?  If it’s important enough, what would you NOT do, to succeed at something that meant everything for you?

#Commitment Phobia

Row, or stay all at sea!
futuresteve.wordpress.com

For those who believed in the inevitability of the ‘middle aged spread’ and other aging myths, who have let their bodies go a little, how serious are you about your health?  Again, give me a number, 1-100.  Anything less than 100, I have to ask, why?  You only get one chance per lifetime to have a healthy body.  Just ask those folks who have been stricken with some crazy and challenging illness that they struggle with daily, just to stay alive!  If you asked them how committed they are, with their last remaining ounce of energy they would bop you.  They don’t have commitment phobia – they cannot afford it!

Neither can you!

Commitment Phobia is a creeping disease.

You begin with a rush of enthusiasm, but it wanes after a while.  Then you begin to find excuses.  Then you realise that it no longer matters, or you tell yourself it doesn’t matter.

#Commitment Phobia

Mother and toddler – love them always.
tipstoahealthy-relationship.blogspot.com

I worked with a guy called Michael who reached a whopping 350 pounds weight, 160 kilograms.  He changed jobs 3 times because he couldn’t physically do the work, before he had his wake-up call.  I asked him why it took severe diabetes and his doctor warning him that he was liable to drop dead at any moment, to stop and rethink his life.  He said that it just crept up on him, a few pounds at a time, and he just kept buying bigger clothes, cars and getting easier jobs until one day, a bicycle shop owner next door to his workplace smiled at him when he walked in the door.  He asked him why he smiled, and he was told that it was almost impossible for him to buy a bicycle to fit him, so what else was he looking for in there…..!  OUCH!  Off to the doctor!

He became committed.  He committed to his life, to his wife and to his toddler daughter…  Within 2 years, he was riding in triathlons, in what is called the “Clydesdales” class, the class dedicated to men over 200 pounds or 90 kilograms weight.  He has since completed a Hawaii Iron Man and has a trophy cabinet to be proud of.  And he has no commitment phobia!  He cannot afford it – diabetes is there, waiting to pounce on him any time he wavers.

#Commitment Phobia

Triathletes at work!
www.picstopin.com

Do you have commitment phobia?

Think about your goals and dreams.  Give yourself a number on them.  If it is less than 100, ask yourself seriously, why you set THAT GOAL.  If it really IS a serious goal or a critical issue for you, then there is a way to get totally committed and shake off that commitment phobia.

Find a way to be passionate about your goals!

Michael thought of his wife and baby girl, and got passionate about life again.  What will make YOU passionate about YOUR goals?  In the Life Change 90 program, you learn about finding your passion, and about redefining your goals so that you live and breathe them and you are excited to get out of bed for them each day.  It takes that sort of passion to guarantee success in achieving your goals.

New Years Resolutions usually have only an 8% success rate, and average goals get as low as 3% success, with partial success around 15%.

If it’s important to you, an 8% chance of success is not good enough.  It MUST be a total commitment, or nothing at all – put your time into something else….

Why is passion vital to overcome commitment phobia?

#Commitment Phobia

www.ankurbakhshi.info
Goethe’s famous quote on Commitment

Because if there is a solid and compelling enough reason for WHY, you WILL find a HOW to achieve that goal.  When failure is just not an option, then you will find a way.

Passion is a powerful driver, but it also pays to work smart, too!  Banging your head against a wall, no matter how passionate you are, will still give you a headache!  Having a success formula to plug into and a supportive environment to work in while going for your dreams is a huge bonus for those with passion.  It gets the goal a lot faster too.  Get your Success Formula HERE NOW!

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans” Peter F Drucker quotes 

To overcome commitment phobia, check out these blogs, on Systemizing Personal Development and Success Habits.  Leave commitment phobia behind and make your next year your best year yet!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray

 

Self Development why bother?

Self Development - why bother

stressguide101.blogspot.com
Turn your own light on!

Self Development why bother? 

“For the best return on your money, pour your purse into your head.” ― Benjamin Franklin

Have you ever wanted more?  More of anything?  For any reason?

Have you ever considered why that was?

It is human nature for people to be explorers, inventors, creators or to wish they were.  It’s a human evolutionary trait and has ensured the survival of the species so far, and enshrined man as the top species on the planet, by way of adaptation, versatility with living environments, and ability to either change to suit an environment, or change the environment to suit man.

Whilst you might not think that this affects you, it’s the same drive that makes you want to stretch just that little bit, be that little bit better, score a little higher, to want more.

As children, we wanted to impress Mummy and Daddy and how good we were at anything we did.  At school, we either strove to be the best in class or on the athletics field, or were envious of those who excelled.  We paid homage to the top athletes, the highest achievers in any competition, and if we were shown to be failures at any time, it was a time of derision, and sometimes shame for us.

This is the human evolutionary program, and it has a lot to do with the Darwinian theories.  The law of the jungle, the fittest and best survive and thrive to ensure continuity of the species.

Self Development - why bother

Law of the jungle – those most suited will survive!
www.incrediblesnaps.com

“Man is not going to wait passively for millions of years before evolution offers him a better brain.” ― Corneliu E Giurgea

So, Self Development why bother?  How does it relate to you, now?

The feelings of frustration you experience from time to time are tied in with this.  Those feelings of frustration are telling you that you are not winning, that you are not good enough to succeed at this challenge, and you need to become better.  It’s that evolutionary programming at work, pushing you to learn more, so you can be more and do more and achieve more.

That’s not to say that you are being forced into continual retraining.  It’s just a reminder to you, gently, that you need to keep up to date with your skills.

However, look at where your frustration occurs.  Does this suggest something to you?

If you are continually frustrated in a particular area of your life, let’s use relationships as an example, the frustration is urging you to develop more in that area of life.  If your relationships are difficult to begin, short-lived, painful, end badly and leave scars, you don’t really need to be told that there is probably something you have yet to learn in the relationships field.

Self Development - why bother

Sources of knowledge
collegepals.org

It’s not a call to become the guru of self development – just a call to perhaps pick up a book at the library and see if you can get some tips.

Self development why bother with growth and learning when so many people seem to get by just fine, and they seem like perfect morons to me?

That’s true too.  There are those people who appear to wander through this world, totally ignorant of everything around them and yet they seem to manage.  It’s all relative to your desired place in your world and your community.  Is THAT how you want to be perceived by the people around you?  Or would you rather some respect when you speak?

There are times in life when we decide to stretch a little, perhaps getting married, asking the question, daring to invite or allow another person into your life.  Perhaps it’s starting a business, taking your idea to the market place and asking people to trust you enough to do business with you.  Perhaps buying a house, and asking the bank to respect you enough to assist you with a home loan.

It’s times like these that you really don’t want to be seen as the village idiot.  It’s a great reason to want to try to be more than you are, to reach your potential.

But it’s not the only reason!

Self development why bother to aim even higher?

There IS so much more!  We are each born with gifts that are in some ways, unique to us.  Look at the people who come to mind when you think of greatness?

Think of great authors, perhaps Wilbur Smith, Ernest Hemingway, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, F Scott Fitzgerald, J K Rowling, Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe and so on.

Think of great minds, and Einstein comes to mind, along with Leonardo Da Vinci, Marie Curie, Faraday, Bell, Marconi, Isaac Newton, and Edwin Hubble.

Sports people?  There are so many; First four-minute mile went to Roger Bannister in 1954 and is a perfect example.  He inspired John Landy to become the second to achieve the feat on 21st June 1954, only 6 weeks after Bannister on 6th of May, 1954.  Since then, many have achieved the feat, inspired by these achievements.  Not only did they prove it was possible, they could probably be credited with the start of sports science, the study of what the human body can possibly achieve.

That led to the development of sciences of the mind, because it was soon realised that attitude was almost as important as physical ability when it came to achievements of physical prowess.

Which brings us back to the starting point!

Self development why bother?

Because it opens new worlds up to us, for a tiny outlay of time and energy, the results and returns can be multiplied many times over.

Knowing how someone achieved something else means you can learn from their efforts, trials and mistakes, and go straight to a winning strategy.  Knowing what mental state to be in for a specific task can mean success or failure at that task – why wouldn’t you want to know that?  Knowing how to win the love, admiration and lifelong affections of someone you admire, surely that is worth stretching yourself a little to learn?  Knowing how to be the best partner, lover, breadwinner, parent or whatever it is you desire in your life, that is why we bother!

Self Development why bother?

Self Development - why bother

The world at your fingertips! healthyshouts.blogspot.com

Because we have to earn our place at the tables in this world.  We have a choice – earn that place at the table or get the crumbs left by those who did!

The great thing about self development is that not many do actually bother, making it easy pickings for the rest of us!  So many are content with the crumbs, perhaps because they have never looked up and realised where they fell from.  However, you are reading this now, so you know about the seats available at the table, and you also probably know that this could be a first step towards taking one.

There are people who will read this, perhaps in desperation and or frustration, who have some sort of physical or health challenges and who have asked the question:  Self Development why bother? and decided it wasn’t worth it.  I say to you, no, you don’t need to be a Roger Bannister, but look at what he REALLY did!  He proved that more could be had and done, and inspired millions of people to strive for me, and who ultimately went on to create better lives for themselves, and for so many others.  Who could you be an inspiration for?

Look at your frustration – we discussed it earlier.  Perhaps you still have a gift to discover, that will ease your frustration.  No, I can’t and neither can anyone else give you a shortcut to it and tell you what it is or how to do it.  That’s up to you – it’s called personal development, your own journey of self discovery.  The truth is that the longest journey most of us will ever make is the journey to discover our true potential!  If you are wondering whether it is worth it, ask yourself if you have unexplored potential yet to be shown to the world, or even to yourself.  Are you sitting on a gift that you don’t yet know about?  You can begin or continue your Self Development journey by CLICKING HERE NOW!

Self development why bother?

Because it’s worth it.  You owe at least this much to yourself and your family!  Welcome aboard!

If you wish to explore Self Development further, it’s easy to make a start.  Look at this blog for a way to put a little self development into each day, to create better results as you progress and ultimately bring out the full potential of you!

If you answered YES to the question of Self Development why bother?, the next blog will have the HOW of this subject, some powerful tips on what you can do from where you are, to make a start and start making a difference!

The Entrepreneur’s Credo

I do not choose to be a common man, 

It is my right to be uncommon … if I can, 

I seek opportunity … not security. 

I do not wish to be a kept citizen. 

Humbled and dulled by having the 

State look after me. 

I want to take the calculated risk; 

To dream and to build. 

To fail and to succeed. 

I refuse to barter incentive for a dole; 

I prefer the challenges of life 

To the guaranteed existence; 

The thrill of fulfillment 

To the stale calm of Utopia. 

I will not trade freedom for beneficence 

Nor my dignity for a handout 

I will never cower before any master 

Nor bend to any threat. 

It is my heritage to stand erect. 

Proud and unafraid; 

To think and act for myself, 

To enjoy the benefit of my creations 

And to face the world boldly and say: 

This, with God’s help, I have done 

All this is what it means 

To be an Entrepreneur.

― Thomas Paine, Common Sense

If you feel this blog has value to you, maybe it has value to others!  Please share and reblog it.  Who knows who might find a reason in here to make changes in their life too!  After all, that’s what friends are for…!

If “The Entrepreneurs Credo” has inspired you to make a start on your Self Development Journey, CLICK HERE to begin, now!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

See you there!

Why systemize personal development?

Why systemize personal development?

“The system has already anticipated the freedom seeking mechanism in humans.”
― Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason

Imagine for a moment that you were going into a department store.  You knew the store took up a whole city block, because it was the only building on the block.  You could see that it was ten stories high, looking up from the street.  It had a single door in from the street and the only signage was “We are open 1 hour each day”.  You look inside the door, and the store looked like everything had been dumped in from the ceiling, boxes and bags and loose items were scattered everywhere, randomly.  How daunting is this shopping experience going to be?

#Personal Development

Untidy department store
image from esterknows.com

However, over the street is another department store, with all the same items for sale.  Same size store, also ten stories high.  The difference is that this store has a wide front door, with a huge directory board right at the door, with a sign that read “OPEN 24 hours”.  Next to it stood a smiling doorman who greeted you cheerily, and asked if he could direct you to what you needed to purchase, or if he could help you decide what you needed.

#Personal Development

Amazing department store
image from victorthevampirekitty.blogspot.com

Which store would you like to shop at?

Me too – the one with the great system!

It’s a lot like life really.  We didn’t get a map of the universe of personal development when we arrived on earth.  We know somehow that it’s all out there available to us, but where do you start?  How do you know what you need?  That’s why a system is important.

There are some stages in changing your life from what it is now, to what you’d rather it was like, and the stages start very close to home.  Today, you and I are the product of everything we have done in all the years of our lives right up to this moment in time – we are the end result of all of our efforts.

How many years did it take for us to get like this?  It’s OK, only you need to know that.  But we need to realise that it’s taken a number of years to get us this way, and we will need a little time to change the programs that got us here, to get them to take us to somewhere else more desirable.  It starts in our minds.  The most amazing computer program on the planet is inside our heads and we need to slip a new disc into it, so that it creates a different personal development outcome for us.

#Personal Development

Our amazing onboard computer
image from jonlieffmd.com

The good news is that it doesn’t take long.  But it does take a little time and the old ways will cling onto you, as habits.  Some work will be necessary, but this is where the value and power of a great system kicks in!

Imagine now that each morning, you took 10 minutes to put the new disc into your onboard computer, set up your day with it, and then went about your daily business with the new personal development program running.

Imagine that in the evening, possibly after dinner and after your day is complete, except for some quality time with your loved ones, perhaps watching a moving, talking, reading or sharing some special time, image that before you settled into this beautiful space for the evening, that you took another 10 or 15 minutes and downloaded the results of your new personal development computer program from this day, and saved them into your laptop or tablet at home.

Imagine that this was all it took to change your life from what you have now, that you want to change, into what you wanted it to be, as soon as possible in the future.

Congratulations, you have just imagined working with Life Change 90!

Life Change 90 is a 90 day program, a self-development system that is designed to work with your habits and activities over 90 days, 3 months, and enable you to change your life from what it has been to what you desire.  A few minutes morning and evening to program your day and download the outcomes, showing you every day, the successes you have had in changing your life with this new systemized personal development program.

Along the way, you will discover what has been limiting you, distracting you and taking you away from what you truly desire.  It will show you better ways, and guide you around the department store of life to exactly what you need to make those life changes, and the system will lock them in place for you.

Interested? Click HERE to learn more, and start now!

Or are you still standing in front of that little door in the big, messed up department store, hoping to find something the hard way?

To learn more about Life Change 90, check the link below, and explore this website.  Ask questions in the FAQ section.  Be amazed.  That’s what life is about.

If you found this blog post to be of value, please share it with your friends and reblog it.  At some time through the life of every person, they wish for a Life Change.  This could be that change and that time.  Let’s make the world a better place!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

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